Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C187

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Chapter 187: What a Godforsaken Place

Even to ensure they wouldn’t run out of food before reaching the next leg of their journey, Wang Ping had refrained from eating any . But by evening, as they prepared to set up camp, Yuan Xiaoxiao announced that after this meal, all they’d have left were two packs of —officially, they were out of food.

Gu Lang slumped against his backpack on the ground, groaning like a man who'd just given up on life itself. The prospect of running out of food didn’t seem to faze him; he was too busy feeling sorry for himself to care. To avoid losing contact with the outside world before reaching , Yuan Xiaoxiao had convinced Gu Lang to stick to a strict schedule: live-streaming in the mornings and turning off his phone in the afternoons to conserve battery. However, once the camera stopped rolling, so did Gu Lang’s last shreds of energy and dignity.

Away from the lens, Gu Lang reverted to his true form—a hopeless lump barely able to move without Yuan Xiaoxiao dragging him along while hurling insults at him every step of the way. It felt less like hiking and more like teaching someone how to drive stick shift for the first time, complete with stutters, stalls, and endless frustration.

As the sun dipped below the horizon and it was finally time to make camp, Gu Lang simply collapsed onto the ground where he stood, refusing to budge no matter how much Yuan Xiaoxiao mocked him.

They’d stopped beside yet another lake—one of many scattered across the plateau. Water sources here were abundant, almost annoyingly so. Lakes over a kilometer wide dotted the landscape, some stretching nearly ten kilometers across. Though none of them knew the name of this particular body of water, its surroundings certainly stood out as peculiar. The shoreline consisted entirely of barren red-brown rock, not a blade of grass in sight. Only about two kilometers south did sparse patches of scrubby vegetation begin to appear. Further still, around five kilometers away, lay a lush cluster of low hills bursting with vibrant greenery and colorful wildflowers—a stark contrast to the desolate wasteland near the lake.

Wang Ping couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about this lake.

“Get up and help pitch the tent!” Yuan Xiaoxiao snapped, kicking Gu Lang lightly in the leg. “Stop acting dead! You act like such a wimp after walking a few steps—are you even a man?”

“Mmm…”

Gu Lang gave her a half-dead look, completely ignoring her jabs. He rolled his eyes upward and muttered, “You’re getting less cute by the minute, you know that? No sense of compassion whatsoever.”

“Wha—what?” Yuan Xiaoxiao froze mid-sentence, stunned by his audacity to use words like compassion in reference to himself. For a moment, she forgot what she was going to say altogether.

With an exaggerated groan, Gu Lang tossed his backpack aside and staggered toward the lake. Dropping to his knees, he scooped up handfuls of water and splashed it onto his face. Wang Ping, standing nearby, frowned at the bubbling surface of the lake. Just as he opened his mouth to warn Gu Lang, the man cupped some water into his hands and took two gulps.

“Hmm?”

His expression twisted instantly. Spitting the water out with a loud “Ptooey,” Gu Lang doubled over in dry heaves.

“This water… this water…” he stammered, unable to finish his sentence.

Yuan Xiaoxiao hurried over when she heard the commotion. She crouched by the edge of the lake, dipped her gloved fingers into the water, and tasted them cautiously. Her lips puckered immediately. “Spit!” she exclaimed, wiping her mouth. “This is an —it’s undrinkable!”

“I’ve heard of ,” Gu Lang wheezed between coughs, his face flushed red. “But what exactly is an alkaline lake?”

Yuan Xiaoxiao shrugged indifferently. “Just imagine the entire lake is filled with soda water that’s way too concentrated.”

Standing nearby, Wang Ping scratched his head, growing increasingly frustrated. If this really was an alkaline lake, then fishing was out of the question. No fish meant no extra food.

Seeing everyone gathered by the lake, Little Four—their scrappy little wolf companion—bounded over, ramming playfully into Wang Ping’s back and nearly knocking him into the water.

“Go on, scram!” Wang Ping shoved the pup away, his gaze drifting toward the distant hills to the south as his mind wandered.

Meanwhile, Gu Lang and Yuan Xiaoxiao had begun heading back to the campsite. Suddenly, Gu Lang pointed toward the lush green hills and asked, “Why don’t we set up camp over there instead? With all those plants, there’s bound to be fresh water!”

“Because…” Yuan Xiaoxiao paused, crossing her arms and leaning close enough to make Gu Lang instinctively lean backward. Smirking mischievously, she whispered in a tone dripping with sarcasm, “Those dense forests are perfect bear territory. Care to guess if we’ll run into one?”

“You—” Flinching as her breath hit his face, Gu Lang took a step back. “Can you not talk so creepily? It’s unsettling!”

But moments later, his mood shifted entirely. Grinning ear to ear, he rummaged through his bag and pulled out a cylindrical device resembling a water bottle. Holding it up triumphantly, he said, “Looks like my will finally come in handy! Admit it—you thought this thing was useless baggage, didn’t you? Am I a genius or what?”

“Idiot.” Yuan Xiaoxiao rolled her eyes and turned away, striding toward the southern hills without another word.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Gu Lang called after her. “Didn’t you just say there might be bears over there?”

“To gather firewood!” she shot back irritably. “And you’d better have the tent ready by the time I get back!”

But after taking a few steps, Yuan Xiaoxiao felt a tug on her pant leg. Looking down, she saw Wang Ping clutching her trousers, his drone now strapped firmly to his back.

“What do you want?” she asked warily. While she had no qualms snapping at Gu Lang, Wang Ping still unsettled her—he was the one who’d taught her a lesson or two in the past.

Behind him, Little Four let out a plaintive whine, prompting Gu Lang to coo soothingly, “There, there, little wolf. Your big brother has important work to do. You’ll only get in the way…”

Yuan Xiaoxiao was still puzzling over Wang Ping’s intentions when he suddenly pointed toward the distant hills, then at himself.

“You want to come with me?” Yuan Xiaoxiao asked, watching as Wang Ping nodded vigorously, only to immediately shake his head afterward. Then, with a small, insistent gesture, he pointed directly at her arm.

It took her a moment to understand—he didn’t mean he wanted to walk alongside her. He wanted her to carry him.

Five minutes later, Yuan Xiaoxiao trudged reluctantly toward the woods, carrying Wang Ping—who refused to walk—in her arms. Arriving at the edge of the forest, she dropped him unceremoniously onto the ground before setting off to collect dry branches. Meanwhile, Wang Ping ventured deeper into the woods, activating his drone once he was certain Yuan Xiaoxiao was out of sight.

Since the lake offered no fish, Wang Ping decided to try his luck elsewhere. Perhaps he could catch a rabbit or two among the hills.

From afar, the hills appeared small and modest, but as Wang Ping approached, carried by the drone, their true size became apparent. Thick clusters of trees, vines, and wildflowers blanketed the slopes. Birds took flight as the drone buzzed overhead, flapping their wings furiously.

A emerged from a patch of flowers, its perpetually grumpy square face peering up at the intruder. Though Wang Ping knew its expression was natural, he couldn’t help but feel it was glaring at him disapprovingly.

“Tibetan fox… protected species,” Wang Ping muttered, steering the drone further into the woods. As he scanned the area, he continued muttering under his breath.

“… also protected…”

“… yep, protected too!”

After circling repeatedly, the drone’s battery warning finally went off. Landing it on a tree branch, Wang Ping clenched his fists in frustration. “Damn it! What kind of godforsaken place is this? Why does everything here have to be protected?”

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