Honey Badger's Streaming Life C182

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Chapter 182: This Just Got Real… 

At a shallow ford where the river spread lazily over a wide bed of smooth stones, the Wrangler trundled across the riverbed and climbed onto the western bank. Ahead loomed a rocky hillside dotted with patches of dry earth. Despite its proximity to the river, the landscape here was desolate—yellow dust swirling in the air, carried by relentless winds or perhaps the thin soil layer. Thirty kilometers south, the silhouette of lush green mountains stretched across the horizon, their dense forests a stark contrast to this arid expanse.

Gu Lang let out a sigh of relief, turning his head to say something—but froze as two furry "honey badger paws" suddenly filled his vision.

Wang Ping launched himself into the air, both feet slamming squarely into Gu Lang’s face. The impact sent Gu Lang’s head snapping backward, his already swollen lump crashing painfully against the car door. “Ow!” he yelped, clutching his head. But before he could recover, Wang Ping landed on the center console, spun around, and swung a clawed paw at Gu Lang's cheek.

SMACK!

"Ouch!"

"Stop it! Stop it!"

"I didn’t mean to! Please stop!"

"I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay?!"

Chaos erupted inside the vehicle. Gu Lang’s cries and pleas echoed through the live-stream room, drawing laughter from the audience. To them, such antics were routine; they’d grown accustomed to these periodic beatings between the duo. As always, viewers chatted amongst themselves, casually critiquing Wang Ping’s technique. If he happened to strike an especially dramatic pose mid-swing, cheers and virtual gifts flooded the screen.

Meanwhile, Yuan Xiaoxiao’s attempts to mediate fell flat. She sighed inwardly, leaning back in her seat and rolling her eyes. It was clear now that both man and honey badger were certifiably insane. Still, if she were honest, she sympathized more with Wang Ping. Having witnessed plenty of high-stakes situations herself, Yuan Xiaoxiao prided herself on maintaining composure under pressure. Yet even she had briefly entertained fantasies of dragging Gu Lang out of the car and beating him senseless after the earlier fiasco.

What kind of live-streaming trip was this? This wasn’t entertainment—it was a death wish.

After a few half-hearted attempts to intervene, Yuan Xiaoxiao gave up, focusing instead on stroking Little Four’s head while silently cursing under her breath. Whatever, she thought. It’s not like he’ll die from it. Might as well let the honey badger vent some anger on behalf of us all.

Realizing there was still hope for survival, Gu Lang managed to free one hand to shift gears, shouting, “Stop hitting me! Stop! I’m driving!”

He flailed wildly, trying to block Wang Ping’s relentless swipes, while steering with his other hand. The Wrangler roared to life again, accelerating forward. Just as Wang Ping leapt up for another swing, landing awkwardly on the storage compartment, the force of the speeding vehicle sent him tumbling backward into the rear footwell.

Yuan Xiaoxiao quickly lifted her legs, wary of accidentally stepping on the honey badger’s tail and inviting further wrath upon herself.

With no time to soothe the enraged creature, Gu Lang pushed the speedometer higher, desperate to escape the beating. Within seconds, the Wrangler hit 120 kilometers per hour, kicking up clouds of dust as it sped past the southern edge of the rocky hill, heading westward.

Wang Ping clambered back to the front, gripping the center console. Though still fuming, he refrained from attacking further, knowing that any reckless behavior might cause the car to crash completely.

“Ah, so it worked,” Gu Lang muttered smugly, sneaking a glance at the honey badger out of the corner of his eye. A satisfied smirk tugged at his lips as he mentally congratulated himself on his cleverness. At the same time, he began rehearsing phrases in his mind, strategizing how to talk his way out of this mess using his legendary silver tongue.

But his triumph was short-lived. Just as the Wrangler rounded the northern curve of the rocky hill, a deafening BANG shook the vehicle. Everyone inside felt the chassis lurch violently, followed by a screeching metallic grinding noise from below. The engine sputtered once, then died. Momentum carried the car forward for a few meters before it ground to a halt.

Gu Lang was jerked forward by his seatbelt, colliding with the steering wheel before being yanked back against the seat. He sat there, dazed.

“What happened? Did we hit something?” he asked, blinking in confusion.

From the backseat, Yuan Xiaoxiao rubbed her forehead and sat up, holding a squirming Little Four. “What’s going on?” she asked, her voice tinged with irritation.

The sound of movement came from the passenger side as Wang Ping crawled back onto the seat, letting out a weary sigh. His fate as a honey badger seemed cursed.

In the skewed frame of the live-stream camera, the chatroom buzzed with concern. Viewers who had been distracted by the earlier spectacle now bombarded the screen with questions about what had caused the sudden stop. Someone watching through the backup camera feed quickly posted a clue:

“Check behind the car.”
“There’s something behind the car!”
“On the ground!”
“What is that thing?”
“Looks like… a bone?”

Before Wang Ping could warn him, Gu Lang hopped out of the car and crouched beside it, peering underneath. Moments later, a strangled cry escaped his lips.

“Oh crap! We’re screwed… Totally screwed…”

His panicked voice drifted through the open front door and cracked rear window. Curious, Wang Ping and Yuan Xiaoxiao stepped out of the car as well. While Yuan Xiaoxiao walked around to the back, cradling Little Four, Wang Ping bent down to inspect the underside of the vehicle.

The sight that greeted him made his blood run cold. The Wrangler’s suspension had been utterly destroyed, bent into right angles. Both front wheels were splayed inward at odd angles, springs and brake lines dangling uselessly. The fuel tank was a goner—a gaping hole spilling gasoline onto the ground, filling the air with a sharp chemical stench.

“This is bad…” Wang Ping muttered, dread sinking into his chest.

It didn’t matter anymore what they’d hit. The damage was done, and the car was undrivable. With nearly 300 kilometers left to traverse, Wang Ping couldn’t fathom how they’d continue.

“Hey, come look at this!”

Yuan Xiaoxiao’s voice called from the back of the car. Wang Ping and Gu Lang turned to see her pointing at something jutting out of the ground near where the Wrangler had passed moments ago. About forty centimeters long, the grayish-black object protruded diagonally from the dirt.

As Wang Ping and Gu Lang approached, they realized it was part of an animal horn—likely belonging to a wild yak, judging by its size and shape. Most of it remained buried beneath the dusty earth, leaving only this jagged fragment exposed.

“Ugh…” Wang Ping sucked in a breath, wincing as though he’d bitten down on something sour.

The horn was positioned at least several dozen meters away from the rocky hill, surrounded by open terrain. How unlucky did you have to be to drive straight into that?

“Gu Lang, Gu Lang,” Wang Ping said, shaking his head. “What am I supposed to say to you?”

Gu Lang stared blankly at the horn for a moment, then squatted down to touch it. Frowning, he muttered, “What is this thing? So hard…”

Silence followed. When Gu Lang finally glanced up, he found Yuan Xiaoxiao and Wang Ping staring at him with expressions that screamed, Are you serious?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Gu Lang protested, pointing at the horn. “This isn’t my fault! Who could’ve predicted this would happen? Who expects to hit something like this while driving normally?”

“Hah…” Yuan Xiaoxiao snorted sarcastically, turning to Wang Ping. With a theatrical flourish, she gestured toward Gu Lang as if inviting him to start the second round of beating. 


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