Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C159

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Chapter 159: Playing Mom and Dad

When the last hum of the bees faded into silence, Gu Lang finally regained some semblance of sanity. He slammed on the brakes and slumped back in his seat, still wrapped tightly in the blanket. If not for the occasional inhalation beneath the fabric, Wang Ping might have thought he’d passed out.

Climbing down from the dashboard as quietly as possible, Wang Ping now behaved like a guilty child caught red-handed. With exaggerated care, he gathered up all the dead—or dying—bees that had been left inside the car, tossing them out one by one. After ensuring no live ones remained, he rolled up the windows.

The interior of the Jeep fell eerily quiet. The only sounds were the intermittent pings of virtual gifts arriving on the tablet and Gu Lang’s labored breathing, punctuated by soft whimpers.

"Why is he still crying...?"

Wang Ping scratched his head, then hopped onto the dashboard and gently tugged at Gu Lang's arm.

"Ow!"

Apparently, he'd hit a sore spot. Beneath the blanket came an indignant growl: "Get lost! Stop touching me!"

Honey Badger froze mid-motion, his paw hovering awkwardly before retreating.

"Hmm… still mad, huh?"

But another whimper made Wang Ping pause. Something felt off.

"Wait… why does it sound like it’s coming from the left?"

He turned to look at the passenger seat, where—to his shock—the furry bundle he’d casually dumped earlier was now wriggling weakly. Its tiny pink tongue darted out intermittently, licking the honey smeared across the leather.

"Holy crap! Gu Lang, look! Your dog—er, wolf—is alive!"

With frantic little claws, Wang Ping shook Gu Lang’s arm, his face frozen in disbelief. But what happened next truly left him speechless.

Gu Lang yanked the blanket off his head and bellowed, "I said get lost! Are you deaf?!"

"Uh..."

Wang Ping froze, staring wide-eyed at the figure before him. It had only been about ten minutes since Gu Lang covered himself with the blanket, but somehow, he looked completely unrecognizable. His eyes were swollen shut, resembling those of a grotesque goldfish, while his lips were puffed out comically.

"Snort!!"

"What the hell happened to you, Gu Lang?!"

"Sorry, let me laugh first."

"Hahahaha, I can’t help it—it’s too funny!"

"Haha, streamer must hate Boss so much right now."

"Gu Lang, you’ve suffered enough."

"Crap, I just spat Coke all over my laptop."

"This is hands-down the funniest moment of the year."

"Aren’t we supposed to go to the county town? Get to a hospital quick!"

"Poor Gu Lang, always getting screwed over by your pet."

The chat exploded with comments, but neither Wang Ping nor Gu Lang paid attention. Honey Badger stood frozen on the dashboard, one paw clutching his face as he tried desperately to suppress laughter. The other paw pointed toward the passenger seat.

Gu Lang squinted through his swollen eyelids (or maybe they were open?) and glared daggers at Wang Ping for a full minute before turning his gaze. Then, a sharp exclamation broke the tension.

"Ergh... It'sh alibe!"

Whether Gu Lang felt joy or relief was unclear; his expression betrayed nothing. Reaching out, he stroked the honey-covered pup, emitting a chilling chuckle.

"Hehehehe~ Thess greyt!"

"Hmm..." Wang Pink tilted his head, utterly baffled. "Not sure what you’re saying, but if you’re happy, good for you!"

---

An hour later, outside the gates of Nyima County People’s Hospital:

Wang Ping sat scowling on the passenger seat, cradling a baby bottle in both paws as he attempted to feed milk to the squirming wolf pup. Before rushing off to treat his own injuries, Gu Lang had bought formula and bottles from a nearby supermarket, instructing Wang Ping to handle feeding duties.

Despite feeling guilty, Wang Ping dutifully prepared the bottle and offered it to the pup. However, the stubborn creature refused to cooperate. Whether traumatized by last night’s hailstorm or simply addled by cold exposure, every time Wang Ping brought the nipple near its mouth, it would whimper and turn away, fixating instead on the sticky patch of honey on the seat.

This newborn, barely a day old with eyes still sealed shut, already displayed a fiery temperament. It mewled insistently, stretching its tiny pink paws toward the honey puddle.

Eventually, Wang Ping resorted to dipping the nipple in honey, tricking the pup into drinking. Each time it rejected the bottle, he reapplied more honey, repeating the process patiently.

"Sigh... How did I end up nursing this kid?" Honey Badger lamented, shaking his head.

The live chat lit up with “incredible”s and “Shocking Content Warning!” For fans witnessing Honey Badger nurture a baby animal for the first time, it was almost unbearable cuteness overload. Many joked they wished they could leap through their screens to cuddle the pair.

"Gulp gulp~"

After a few sips, the pup pushed the bottle away again, blindly crawling around the seat until it bumped into Wang Ping’s leg. Without hesitation, it latched onto whatever it found there.

"The hell?!"

Instinctively, Wang Ping kicked outward—but softened the blow at the last second, merely nudging the pup aside.

"Feeding you is already pushing it! Don’t push your luck!"

The pup flipped over, grunted twice, and crawled back toward him.

"Ugh!"

Reasoning with an infant was impossible. Shoulders slumped, Honey Badger sighed deeply, picked up the bottle, and dipped it once more into the remnants of the hive on the dashboard.

Just then, a soft plop echoed in the cabin. Wang Ping felt warmth spread over his foot. Looking down, he saw the pup wagging its tail, spraying something indescribable all over his paw.

BAM!

The half-full bottle flew through the air, slamming against the driver’s side door.

---

Thanks to Gu Lang’s condition, the duo ended up staying two extra days in Nyima County. Most of the delay stemmed from waiting for the swelling to subside.

Stung multiple times around the eyelids, Gu Lang emerged from the hospital practically blind. Forget driving—he could barely walk without prying his lids apart with his fingers. During these two days, he spent mornings receiving IV treatment at the hospital and evenings resting at a nearby inn with Wang Ping and the pup. Only when his swelling showed signs of receding—and he could see, eat, and move somewhat normally—did they set off again.

Even then, Gu Lang’s face remained bloated, though less dramatically so. To save face, he donned a hat, mask, and sunglasses. Though far from perfect, it was enough to restore a shred of dignity.

As for Wang Ping, these two days taught him exactly what it meant to play both mother and father.

Nights weren’t too bad. No matter how much the pup whimpered, Wang Ping could feign sleep. Days, however, were another story. Even if he couldn’t hear the cries, he certainly smelled them. Over the past few days, thanks to countless accidents, Honey Badger swore repeatedly to throw the pup to the dogs.

By now, the interior of the Jeep had undergone significant changes. Two hooks had been installed on the passenger seat, suspending a makeshift crib fashioned from Wang Ping’s old hammock between the seat and dashboard. This became the pup’s sleeping area.

Meanwhile, Wang Ping stood on the dashboard, offering peace offerings to Gu Lang. In his paws lay a chunk of honeycomb dripping with golden nectar.

"Here, bro, I saved this especially for you. Pure, natural honey. Try it?"

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