Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C135

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Chapter 135: The An Ping Club

Amber was a peculiar thing when it came to value.

Synthetic amber was practically worthless—cheap enough that you could buy a giant chunk for just a few bucks. Natural amber, on the other hand, varied wildly in price depending on its quality. Some pieces went for hundreds of dollars per gram, while others soared into the tens of thousands. But if the amber was natural, beautifully shaped, and encased something rare inside? Well, then its worth became incalculable.

So trading what appeared to be a piece of natural amber for a few clothes bought online would seem like a losing deal to most people. But neither Gu Lang nor Wang Ping were "most people." One had thoughts so scattered they might as well have been floating in the clouds, and the other wasn’t even human. To them, repaying an enthusiastic young girl with something they’d found lying around felt like an absolute steal.

After bidding farewell to a reluctant Yan Lili and Wu Min, the Jeep Wrangler rumbled out of Arshan City, heading south down the provincial highway. Wang Ping lounged in the passenger seat, inspecting the denim jacket he now wore. It was only just dawning on him that there were two small pockets sewn onto the outside of the jacket. The realization filled his furry face with delight; finally, he could carry things without relying entirely on Gu Lang.

Meanwhile, Chen Bai had forcibly shut down their live stream.

Chen Bai had come to understand one undeniable truth about Gu Lang: he was trouble incarnate. Sure, taking down poachers was commendable, but the problem was that this guy didn’t stop at poachers—he caused chaos wherever he went. If not for the fact that no major disasters had occurred this time, Chen Bai, the outdoor streaming manager, would’ve surely lost his job. Even so, reprimands and docked bonuses were inevitable. At this point, Chen Bai’s resentment toward Gu Lang bordered on explosive—he fantasized about throwing their contract back in his face and telling him to get lost.

Unfortunately, contracts worked both ways. If Gu Lang breached it, he’d have to pay up, but if Douyu (the streaming platform) did the same, they’d face penalties too. So instead, Chen Bai unleashed a torrent of threats over the phone, warning Gu Lang that any future streams required his explicit approval or else legal action would follow.

Chen Bai was pissed, but Gu Lang was even more irritated.

The whole reason Gu Lang signed the contract in the first place was to use it as leverage against his grandmother, convincing her to let him roam free. Now, just when Grandma stopped caring, along came Chen Bai playing the role of gatekeeper. Gu Lang thought nagging was a disease—and diseases needed curing.

Of course, if Chen Bai believed threats and verbal jabs could control Gu Lang, he was sorely mistaken. The real reason Gu Lang returned obediently to Hangzhou after a week away stemmed from two factors: one being Wang Ping’s injury, and the other far more important—Gu Lang felt he needed to level up.

Sure, the SWAT officer back in Arshan had praised him to high heaven, but Gu Lang knew better than anyone how close he’d come to disaster. If it weren’t for clinging tightly to Wang Ping’s coattails, he’d probably be lying stiff in a morgue right now, waiting to be cremated. There’d be no room for Chen Bai to criticize him then.

Still, Gu Lang refused to admit that his near-death experience resulted from leaving home without using his brain. No, in his mind, if he’d possessed extraordinary skills—like a black belt in taekwondo or mastery in sanda fighting—he wouldn’t have needed backup. He could’ve handled those poachers single-handedly, preventing Wang Ping’s injuries altogether.

And so, while still en route to Hangzhou, not yet out of Inner Mongolia, Gu Lang made a call to his buddy in Hangzhou right in front of Wang Ping. He asked for help finding a reputable sanda coach, preferably someone who’d won a golden belt. Money wasn’t an issue, Gu Lang insisted, but speed was paramount. He wanted to become a sanda master ASAP.

“Tsk…” From the passenger seat, Wang Ping gnawed on a stick of spicy gluten, silently mocking him.

Before leaving Arshan, Gu Lang had endured a stern lecture from Yan Lili—all because of Wang Ping’s smoking habit.

The girl had listed off every conceivable danger of animals smoking, none of which fazed Wang Ping but thoroughly terrified Gu Lang. What if one morning he woke up to find his furry companion turned into a lifeless stuffed toy? Determined to avoid such a fate, Gu Lang had tossed the pack of cigarettes sitting in the car and vowed never to buy another for Wang Ping.

Ironically, anti-smoking campaigns seemed designed solely to scare non-smokers. True addicts paid them no mind whatsoever.

Still, Lili’s intentions were good, so Wang Pick couldn’t bring himself to get angry over it. Instead, he spent much of the trip chewing idly on sticks of spicy gluten—not eating them, just holding them between his teeth to occupy his otherwise idle mouth.

Strangely enough, since returning from the mountain, Wang Ping’s appetite for snacks had plummeted. A pile of treats Gu Lang purchased in Arshan remained untouched until they passed through Hohhot, save for a single bag of spicy gluten.

Wang Ping suspected the ginseng root he’d dug up on the mountain might have been expired, wreaking havoc on his stomach. Ever since consuming it, his digestive system had behaved unusually well. Gone were the days of constant hunger pangs or drooling over food despite having eaten recently. His cravings had all but vanished.

But where his appetite waned, his nicotine cravings surged.

As they pulled into the first service area after leaving Hohhot, Wang Ping tugged on Gu Lang’s sleeve just as he was about to step out to relieve himself. With a determined gaze, he pointed toward the convenience store.

“No way!” Gu Lang glanced back at the pile of uneaten snacks in the backseat before shaking his head firmly. “Lili said if you keep smoking, you’ll turn into… uh, something bad!”

“Damn it, I’m dying here without a smoke!” Wang Ping persisted, pointing again at the store.

“It doesn’t matter how much you beg me. For everything else, fine, but not this.”

With cold resolve, Gu Lang brushed Wang Ping’s paw off his sleeve and strode toward the car door.

“You’re gonna die first, idiot! You think you can learn sanda? Start by learning how to take a beating!” Furious, Wang Ping grabbed the piece of spicy gluten from his mouth and flung it at the back of Gu Lang’s head.

Bam!

The car door slammed shut as Gu Lang stormed off, leaving behind the faint aroma of discarded gluten.

“Ugh, how can I get some cigarettes without going through Gu Lang?”

Wang Ping sighed, realizing how low his ambitions had sunk. Once upon a time, his thoughts revolved around endangered wildlife and punishing poachers. Now? Domesticity loomed large.

His eyes drifted to the wallet resting in the storage compartment next to the driver’s seat.

If he took a soft note from the wallet without Gu Lang knowing, would that count as theft? Technically, though, they were all part of the same team now. Just borrowing some cash for necessities shouldn’t be considered crossing the line… right?

Ding!

A WeChat notification chimed, snapping Wang Ping out of his musings. He glanced absently at Gu Lang’s phone lying on the seat, then redirected his attention back to the wallet.

But in that fleeting moment, a spark ignited in Wang Ping’s mind.

That profile picture flashing across the screen earlier—it looked strangely familiar.

Snatching up Gu Lang’s phone, Wang Ping stuck out his tongue and unlocked the screen. Sure enough, the chat window revealed a familiar avatar and unmistakable conversational style.

Wang Xiao’an: Mr. Gu, since you were referred by our diamond member, I won’t beat around the bush. Everyone in the outdoor community knows we source only the world’s finest gear at An Ping Club. However, we reserve these products exclusively for our members. If you wish to purchase, you’ll need to join us first.

Wang Ping squinted, feeling his blood pressure rise.

Wait, wasn’t it called the Ping An Club last time? When did it magically transform into An Ping Club?

Just as Wang Ping prepared to toss the phone aside, his gaze landed on Gu Lang’s newly updated profile picture. It too struck a chord of familiarity.

Curious, Wang Ping opened Gu Lang’s profile. His jaw dropped instantly.

There, in the photo, stood a honey badger posing dramatically, exuding ferocity. Behind it lay a black bear sprawled on the ground, its face twisted in agony as if trapped in a nightmare.

“For crying out loud,” Wang Ping muttered under his breath. “What possessed me to take such a ridiculous photo?”

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