Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C76

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It had been Wang Ping’s decision to return to China with Gu Lang. He’d known about the vaccinations and even tried to charm the nurse when he was first strapped to the examination table. But there was a stark difference between Wang Ping before seeing the needle and Wang Ping after. The former was calm and rational; the latter turned into an unhinged mess, much like a woman losing her mind over something trivial.

This pattern had been well-documented back in their days at WAP’s security team.

Every time before a mission, Wang Ping would confidently assure the captain that he’d handle the vaccinations without issue. Yet every single time, as soon as the needle came into view, he’d scream bloody murder, try to flee, only to be dragged back kicking and screaming.

Over the next few days, Gu Lang avoided bringing up the topic of injections altogether. Instead, another matter left him utterly baffled.

When Douyu’s official representative responded to Gu Lang’s proposal of listing Wang Ping as a “performance guest,” not only did they approve it without hesitation, but the manager even suggested going further. “As long as Wang Ping regularly appears in your livestreams, we can draft a separate contract for him,” the manager said casually.

This threw Gu Lang completely off balance.

Not only had he never signed a formal contract with the platform, but now they were offering to treat Wang Ping—a literal animal—as a legitimate performer? What was going on here? Was Boss pulling strings behind the scenes?

The manager, surnamed Chen, spoke with such familiarity that it felt almost surreal. He even joked about organizing a fan meetup at the airport.

“Fans?” Gu Lang snorted inwardly. With his current level of fame, the so-called fans would likely just be hired girls holding up signs with his name written on them, shouting empty cheers outside the terminal.

Rolling his eyes, Gu Lang declined the offer but readily agreed to meet Manager Chen after returning to China. He was curious why the man seemed so unusually accommodating toward him.

Time flew by, and before they knew it, a week had passed. Despite Wang Ping’s earlier vows to make Gu Lang pay for subjecting him to this torment, when the second round of vaccinations rolled around, he still obediently followed Gu Lang to the clinic. Once again, he charmed the nurse who’d once threatened to neuter him, only to yelp and howl as the needles pierced his skin.

Such was the paradox of adulthood—you could hate something with every fiber of your being yet still comply because logic dictated it.

A week later, at Julius Nyerere International Airport, Zhang Jianming arrived to see Gu Lang off.

Though many Chinese expatriates worked in Tanzania, and the embassy staff were perpetually busy, someone had decided it was worth sending Zhang Jianming specifically to ensure Gu Lang boarded his flight without incident. After reviewing Gu Lang’s recent escapades in Tanzania, the higher-ups concluded that this guy was nothing short of a walking disaster magnet. Better safe than sorry.

Gu Lang, oblivious to these deliberations, tearfully thanked Zhang Jianming, calling him a saint and promising to treat him to dinner upon his return. Zhang Jianming accepted with an enigmatic smile.

At the moment, Gu Lang carried an airline-approved pet carrier, though Wang Ping wasn’t inside it. Instead, he was nestled in a backpack slung across Gu Lang’s shoulders.

The carrier was newly purchased from the airport and remained sealed. First, Gu Lang planned to check his luggage, then proceed to the pet check-in counter.

With Zhang Jianming trailing closely behind, Gu Lang refrained from speaking too much to Wang Ping. However, while placing Wang Ping into the carrier, he discreetly slipped in a tablet computer.

Wang Ping, preoccupied with worrying about how to endure the long journey ahead, immediately grabbed the device and tucked it under his body to hide it.

Airline regulations prohibited carrying liquids onboard, but pets traveling via cargo were exempt. Most owners typically fasted their pets for several hours before the flight and administered mild sedatives to ensure they slept through the trip. This method was convenient and stress-free.

For longer journeys, however, things got trickier. Too little sedative, and the pet might wake up mid-flight. Too much, and… well, let’s just say overdosing wasn’t unheard of. Therefore, for extended trips, owners usually prepared ample food and water, stashing them securely in the carrier.

Once Gu Lang completed all the necessary procedures, the carrier containing Wang Ping was wheeled away to the cargo handling area. After passing through security, it joined a sea of other crates filled with cats, dogs, and luggage.

Throughout the process, Wang Pink clung tightly to the tablet beneath him, terrified it might be confiscated during inspection. Fortunately, the security checks in Tanzania weren’t as stringent as those in China. A uniformed officer merely glanced inside the crate before waving it through.

Meanwhile, Gu Lang bid farewell to Zhang Jianming and proceeded through security himself, settling into the boarding lounge to await departure.

The fastest direct flight from Tanzania to China took 17 hours, but Gu Lang’s itinerary included a layover, extending the journey to 20 hours. By the time ground staff began loading luggage into the cargo hold, Wang Ping suddenly realized something crucial:

Gu Lang hadn’t packed toilet paper.

In the boarding lounge, Gu Lang chatted with his family over the phone, updating them on his flight details. As he hung up, his gaze fell upon an elderly Chinese woman cradling a small poodle as she walked past.

“Grandma, I’ll call you back later—I’m boarding now!”

Hanging up quickly, Gu Lang approached the stylishly dressed woman and asked with feigned innocence, “Auntie, why are you holding your dog? Don’t you need to check it in?”

Initially wary of the stranger, the woman relaxed upon hearing Gu Lang’s accent. Smiling warmly, she explained, “No need. For pets weighing less than 20 kilograms, you can pay extra for a special boarding pass. They don’t get a seat, of course—they stay under your feet.”

She pulled out a miniature boarding pass to show him.

“Uh…” Gu Lang fell silent, struck by this revelation.

Boss, I’m sorry!

Inside the carrier, Wang Ping listened to the sounds of luggage being loaded around him. The ventilation holes were partially blocked, plunging the interior into darkness. Occasional barks and meows echoed nearby, some startlingly close.

He pawed at the snacks and water Gu Lang had prepared, pushing them aside in frustration. Hunger and thirst weren’t issues—he could endure those. But what if nature called mid-flight? That was a nightmare scenario.

The carrier lacked proper compartments, featuring only a flimsy mesh partition beneath his feet. The thought of being trapped inches away from his own waste made him queasy. If turbulence hit, the situation could turn downright grotesque.

Still, despite his grievances, Wang Ping managed to keep his cool. Over the past week, he’d cooperated fully with Gu Lang, enduring various procedures in hopes that everything would smooth out once they reached China. Yet a nagging feeling persisted—he’d forgotten something important.

It wasn’t until the cargo hold doors closed, leaving only silence around him, that Wang Ping finally remembered. Pulling out the tablet and propping it against his tail, he scrolled through movies before the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

Damn it! Who said animals had to travel in cargo? Didn’t airlines allow two pets in the cabin?!

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