Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C132

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Chapter 132: It’s What I’m Supposed to Do!

The search party didn’t encounter much trouble finding Gu Lang. As they combed along the riverbank, reaching the spot where Damuge and his companion had fought with a bear, Wang Ping—who had been quietly nestled in the arms of the female officer—suddenly let out an earsplitting howl. Before anyone could figure out what had gotten into him, a voice from across the river cried out, trembling with fear:

“Boss~~~ Where are you? Come back quick!! I’m scared!!!”

As the only woman on the team, the policewoman’s face twisted into an odd expression—trying desperately not to laugh but failing miserably as she bit her tongue.

Wang Ping pawed at his face, recalling that classic line from The Mermaid: “We’re professionals; no matter how funny it gets, we won’t laugh… unless we can’t help it.”

At this moment, he couldn’t help but miss "The Senseless Gu." Setting everything else aside, if there was one thing about The Senseless Gu he couldn’t deny, it was his audacity—borderline reckless.

A tactical squad of three special ops officers quickly crossed the river. Not far from the shore, following the cries for help, they found Gu Lang still clinging to a tree, too terrified to come down. Two of them crouched, weapons ready, while the third—a young SWAT officer—helped Gu Lang descend.

Seeing the police, especially the coolly equipped SWAT officers, Gu Lang finally felt safe enough to breathe again. He clung to the nearest officer like a lifeline.

“There’s a bear around here!” he warned urgently.

Hearing this, the three SWAT members tensed up immediately, forming a protective circle around Gu Lang as they hustled him back across the river to rejoin the main group.

“I’m actually a huge fan of yours, Gu Lang! I love watching your livestreams!” said the SWAT officer who was practically carrying Gu Lang, mistaking his clinginess for fear of wet shoes. As they walked, he reassured him softly, “Don’t worry, Boss is already with us. He’s waiting on the other side.”

“Ah, thank you!”

Relieved by the officer’s words, Gu Lang loosened his grip on the man’s shoulder. Suddenly regaining strength in his legs, he stepped directly into the water and began walking alongside everyone else.

“Oh, by the way, after the mission’s over, could I get a picture with you?” the SWAT officer asked casually.

With exaggerated bravado, Gu Lang patted the officer’s shoulder mid-stride and replied confidently, “Of course! No problem at all!”

“You’re amazing! Last time abroad, you helped catch poachers, and now we’ve caught the Damuge gang thanks to you,” the SWAT officer joked self-deprecatingly. “I’m nowhere near as heroic—I mostly just chase petty thieves.”

“All part of justice, my friend,” Gu Lang declared loftily. “Poachers need to be stopped, and so do thieves! As citizens of China, it’s our duty.” For a moment, he felt weightless, as if he might drift up into the air and float away. His feet splashed through the water with renewed vigor, making waves like a motorboat.

Meanwhile, Wang Ping, still cradled in the policewoman’s arms, turned his head away in disgust, wishing he could disown the guy entirely. If the SWAT officer hadn’t been on duty, Gu Lang probably would have kept bragging until sunrise.

Finding Gu Lang marked the halfway point of their mission. However, Naktu and Sasgo were still missing, and Damuge remained tight-lipped, feigning indifference. Captain Liu decided to send the female officer, Wu Min, to escort Gu Lang back while the rest continued searching.

Only then did Gu Lang snap out of his boasting haze and hurriedly report everything he knew. Unlike Damuge, whose mind was full of twists and turns, Gu Lang spilled his story straightforwardly, like beans pouring out of a bamboo tube. Of course, inspired by the SWAT officer’s earlier praise, he embellished quite a bit.

“For instance,” he began dramatically, “the second I saw those three, I knew something was off!”

“They barely spoke Chinese and whispered behind my back—I realized right away I was in trouble!”

“I even faked an escape to trick them into revealing their guns!”

His tall tales painted him as some sort of master detective, leaving Damuge rolling his eyes in exasperation. What a load of bull, thought Damuge bitterly. If it weren’t for that damn critter messing things up, you’d already be bear food!

Fortunately, Gu Lang knew when to stop joking and stuck mostly to the truth. The officers listened patiently, and when Captain Liu finally spoke, his first question was, “Are you hurt?”

“Oh, no, just a few scrapes. Oh! But my boss got injured! He took a knife for me!” Gu Lang exclaimed, rushing to check on Wang Ping.

“You finally remembered I exist?!” Wang Ping muttered under his breath. Had he not been held by Officer Wu, he would’ve lunged at Gu Lang during his grandiose storytelling.

All eyes turned to Wang Ping, prompting Officer Wu to instinctively step back before lifting him closer for inspection.

“Who bandaged this…” Her voice dripped with disdain.

“Good job,” Captain Liu said, patting Gu Lang on the shoulder with a smile. “Leave the rest to us. Get your pet treated ASAP. Officer Wu, escort Mr. Gu back.”

“Yes, sir!”

Officer Wu nodded and motioned for Gu Lang to follow her. Along the way, she introduced herself as Wu Min, a forest detective from Arshan. Learning this, Wang Ping silently cursed Gu Lang for being such a pain in the neck.

Less than ten kilometers west along the riverbank, they reached Provincial Road 203. Though Wang Ping hadn’t seen a map, he remembered their route over the mountains well enough. Now he realized that if they’d simply walked west after getting out of the car, bypassing the hills, they’d have hit the road much faster. Even walking along the highway would’ve been quicker than Gu Lang’s mountain-climbing detour.

And yet, Gu Lang had convinced him that the nearest town required crossing the mountain peak, adding nearly a hundred kilometers to their journey?

Thinking about how close he’d been to enjoying hot meals, warm showers, and a comfy bed instead of enduring chases by bears, gunshots, and knives, Wang Ping concluded that perhaps this livestreamer had gone too long without a reality check.

Emerging from the woods onto the sandy provincial road, they traveled another two kilometers before spotting a row of parked police cars. Everyone except Wu Min returned to join Captain Liu’s search for Naktu and Sasgo’s bodies. Wu Min drove Gu Lang back to Arshan City, contacting colleagues en route to arrange veterinary care for Wang Ping.

When the word “hospital” came up, Gu Lang and Wang Ping exchanged glances, neither understanding the other’s unspoken thoughts.

Though the forest felt like midnight, the city buzzed with evening activity. Restaurants and entertainment venues thrived as neon lights welcomed them back to civilization. Both Gu Lang and Wang Ping sighed in relief upon seeing the distant glow of city lights.

“It feels great to be back among people!” Gu Lang remarked.

Driving through the bustling streets, they passed a lively barbecue district at the height of dinner hour. The aroma of grilled meat made both man and animal salivate. Alas, the stoic Officer Wu refused to stop, speeding past the tantalizing smells and turning into a residential area called An Kang Community. They finally pulled up outside a building, where Officer Wu instructed Gu Lang to carry Wang Ping inside.

Outside a ground-floor unit with a small yard hung a sign reading: “Sea, Land, Air Pet Wellness Center.”

“This is a hospital?” Wang Ping eyed the establishment suspiciously, already planning his escape should things seem amiss.

Just then, a young woman in her early twenties rushed out of the yard, visibly excited. “Is this Ping Ping(Note.1)? Let me see where he’s hurt!”

“Ping Ping?” Wang Ping frowned darkly.

“Damn, it’s been ages since I wanted to punch someone this badly!”

Note 1: The honey badger is often referred to as "Ping Tou Ge" in Chinese. In Chinese culture, it's common to use two words with the same character as an endearing term when addressing others. Therefore, in this context, the main character is affectionately called "Ping Ping."

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