Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C103

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Under the shade of a towering pine, Gu Lang watched as a certain honey badger slid down from the branches, spitting out bits of pine nut shells along the way. There was something vaguely unsettling about the creature’s demeanor—perhaps it was the mischievous glint in its eyes or the way it carried itself with an air of smug satisfaction. When Gu Lang thought back to the earlier antics of a particularly bold squirrel, his gaze shifted uncomfortably.

“What are you staring at? Never seen such a handsome badger before?” Wang Ping quipped, though he didn’t have much room to boast. He’d intended to roll his eyes but remembered, with mild irritation, that he no longer had eyelids capable of such dramatic gestures. Instead, he spat another mouthful of shells in Gu Lang’s direction.

Hidden deep within the shadows of a gnarled tree trunk, a gray-furred squirrel huddled in its den, whimpering softly as it counted the last few pine nuts left in its dwindling stash. It was over—completely and utterly over. No matter how many times it recounted them, the pile wouldn’t grow larger. With a defeated sigh, the little rodent slumped forward, its once-bright eyes now dull and weary. Picking up the remaining pine nuts, it shuffled deeper into the hollow, tossing them into the darkness like grains of sand lost to the ocean.

Unbeknownst to Wang Ping, whose stubby arms couldn’t reach this hidden cache, the squirrel’s modest nest concealed a treasure trove of food far greater than anything he’d encountered so far. Deep within the burrow lay a mountainous hoard of pine nuts, towering high above where the newly discarded ones disappeared without a trace. Yet for all its wealth, the squirrel showed no sign of pride or relief. Instead, it collapsed onto the pile in despair, its plump body sinking into the soft cushion of stored provisions.

“This is hopeless,” the tiny creature muttered under its breath, clutching its fluffy tail in sorrow. “Life isn’t worth living anymore.”

Meanwhile, Wang Ping had already made his descent. Sliding down the tree trunk, he picked up the waist pouch he had tossed beneath it and slung it back over his shoulder. A handful of leftover pine nuts remained in his paw, which he promptly tucked away inside the compartment housing his drone controller. Gu Lang wasn’t exactly reliable, after all; these pine nuts might come in handy if they found themselves stranded later.

Just as he prepared to signal their departure, Gu Lang approached him, extending a hand filled with partially chewed pine nuts.

"Here, take these too," Gu Lang said with a grin, offering the remaining pine nuts.

This guy actually didn't finish them all? Wang Ping froze, his furry face filled with astonishment and confusion.

"I saved them especially for you, worried you might still be hungry," Gu explained, noticing the honey badger's puzzled expression.

Bullshit, since when are you so considerate? Wang Ping muttered under his breath, though he couldn't deny the evidence in front of him.

Forget it, I guess you're not entirely heartless, Wang Ping relented, holding open the pouch as Gu Lang stuffed the pine nuts inside. For once, he gave Gu Lang a rare approving look.

Truth be told, Gu Lang’s generosity stemmed less from kindness and more from necessity. The wild pine nuts were tougher than anything he’d ever encountered—freshly harvested by the squirrel, their shells were nearly impenetrable compared to the store-bought variety. After cracking open just a few, Gu Lang felt his gums throbbing painfully. One wrong move, and he feared losing a tooth altogether. Silently vowing to bring along a hammer next time, he handed over the rest of the pine nuts to Wang Ping, who begrudgingly acknowledged the gesture with a curt nod.

With renewed vigor, the unlikely duo set off once again, winding their way through the rugged terrain. Inspired by the squirrel’s resourcefulness, Wang Ping began scouring the landscape with renewed purpose. His keen eyes darted around, scanning for edible plants or signs of other squirrels perched on nearby pines. While hunting small game was always an option, starting a fire in this dense coniferous forest would be risky due to the abundance of resin-rich trees. Raw meat held little appeal, even for someone as adaptable as Wang Ping. Still, there were plenty of other options—berries, mushrooms, and various herbs native to the Greater Khingan Mountains awaited discovery.

However, navigating unfamiliar territory proved challenging. Despite being well-versed in wilderness survival, this marked Wang Pin’s first venture into northeastern China’s vast forests. Many of the region’s unique wild fruits remained unrecognizable to him, leaving both him and Gu Lang hesitant to experiment blindly. Adding to their woes was another pressing issue: dehydration.

Gu Lang hadn’t had a drink since the previous night, and the water bottles they’d brought along had long since run dry. Combined with the physical exertion of climbing steep slopes, his throat burned with thirst, lips cracked and parched. “Boss,” he croaked weakly, “we need to find water soon…”

Back in the live stream chat room, viewers couldn’t see Gu Lang’s exhausted form, but his raspy voice echoed clearly through their speakers. Watching the screen, they saw Wang Ping pause mid-stride, turning toward the camera with dirt-streaked fur matted by sap and fallen leaves. Sympathy poured in from every corner of the internet.

“Useless streamer, relying on his pet for help again.”

“Exactly.”

“He’s asking his pet to find water? Classic.”

“Dehydration is serious business.”

“I told you not to come to the Greater Khingan Range—it’s suicide! Turn back while you still can!”

“Right, why drag poor Boss into your reckless adventures?”

“Boss is suffering because of this guy.”

“Poor Boss!”

“Poor thing +1”

“Poor Boss +10086”

By now, Gu Lang was too drained to check the comments. If he had, he’d likely explode in frustration at the blatant favoritism shown toward Wang Ping. Who exactly was the boss here, anyway? Did none of these viewers understand basic hierarchy?

“Alright, finding water…” Wang Ping murmured, stopping in his tracks.

In a dense forest like this, especially one dominated by cold temperate conifers, traditional methods of locating water sources used in open plains simply wouldn’t work. The thick vegetation obscured visibility, making it nearly impossible to follow root patterns or spot distant landmarks. And while tracking animal trails often led to water, it also risked leading straight into predators’ dens instead.

The morning sun filtered through the canopy, dispersing the lingering mist. Collecting dew was no longer feasible, and though Gu Lang could consult satellite maps for marked water points, the sheer distance involved—coupled with his current state of exhaustion—made those options impractical.

That left only one solution.

Reaching into his pouch, Wang Ping retrieved the compact drone nestled securely within. Carefully brushing off dried mud and leaves clinging to its propellers, he planned to bypass the forest’s obstructive canopy and conduct an aerial survey. But before he could activate the device, Gu Lang eagerly stepped forward, snatching the controller from his grasp.

What do you think you’re doing? Wang Ping snapped, baring his teeth in indignation. Who said I was letting you use it?

“Oh, folks, rejoice!” Gu Lang exclaimed triumphantly to his audience. “Thanks to our sponsor Douyu, we’ve got cutting-edge tech right here! This drone will scout ahead and locate nearby water sources. Isn’t my brilliant partner amazing for bringing it along?”

Completely oblivious to Wang Ping’s outrage, Gu Lang continued addressing the chatroom, fiddling with the controls as he launched the drone skyward.

Hey! Hey?! Wang Ping protested feebly, waving his claws in vain as he stared at the empty pouch in his hands. His face twisted in frustration.

That was my plan! I was going to fly it myself! You ungrateful jerk!

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