Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C97

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Human beings have a strange relationship with the concept of beauty. Some prefer turquoise seas and azure skies; others are drawn to gnarled vines under dimming sunsets. But when you call a grassland the “best,” and it’s universally acknowledged as such, well, that’s something else entirely.

What makes this claim so extraordinary is how different Hulunbuir is from other famous grasslands like the Maasai Mara, where wildlife roam wild and human presence is sparse. No, Hulunbuir stands at the opposite extreme.

This prairie boasts the most fertile fields and the finest grazing land on Earth. Even Japan, a country known for its advanced livestock industry, regularly imports hay from here. From above, the expanse looks like an endless emerald ocean, rolling gently under the vast sky.

But despite its breathtaking scenery, there aren’t many animals to be seen—or rather, only five kinds dominate the landscape: cows, horses, sheep, humans, and dogs. For herders, this place is paradise incarnate. On the second day of their journey, Gu Lang drove through the plains, marveling at the sight of lush greenery dotted with flocks of cattle and sheep.

Yet once they strayed far from towns or designated tourist zones, even those familiar sights vanished. Only occasionally would they spot a solitary Mongolian yurt standing alone amidst the boundless sea of green. At times, Wang Ping couldn’t help but think that the shepherds kept dogs not to guard their flocks, but simply to fend off loneliness during long, quiet days.

“Long ago, the prairie was plagued by wind demons and sand spirits. The land lay barren, water was scarce, and herds were on the brink of extinction. In this desolation lived a brave couple from the Mongolia tribe. The girl, Hulun, was talented and graceful, while the boy, Buir, possessed immense strength and unmatched skills in riding and archery. Together, they fought valiantly against the forces of destruction, banishing the wind demons, vanquishing the sand spirits, and reviving life to the prairie. To honor them, the people named their homeland after these two heroes—Hulun-Buir. And thus, this legend has been passed down for generations.”

Pretending not to notice the disdainful glare shot his way by the honey badger beside him, Gu Lang narrated the tale he’d hastily copied from Baidu Wikipedia. With the camera focused on filming the badger, Gu Lang allowed himself some slack, indulging in dramatic flourishes as he recounted the story. Meanwhile, his live-stream chatroom exploded with admiration.

“How beautiful!”

“I want to go there!”

“+1 for wanting to visit.”

“It’s like a green sea.’”

“Now I finally understand why ancient poets sang its praises in their verses.”

“That’s it—I’m booking tickets right now!”

“Oh my gosh, this grassland is SO green!”

Green is known to soothe the eyes, though sometimes it may not be so friendly to men (wink). Yet what stretched beyond the car windows defied description—it wasn’t just green anymore. Emerald blades of grass mingled with wildflowers, spreading out endlessly toward the horizon. Rolling hills curved softly without a single harsh edge, as if someone had draped the earth in a plush, verdant carpet.

Strangely enough, though they were firmly planted on solid ground, the words used to describe oceans fit perfectly here too. Endless horizons, majestic waves, rippling breezes, clouds bowing low—it felt almost like sailing across an inland sea.

Even Gu Lang, who wouldn’t know poetry if it hit him in the face, started to feel poetic vibes. Alas, neither he nor Wang Ping could string together rhymes. Instead, they sat quietly watching fans pour their hearts out in the live stream, chiming in awkwardly whenever a particularly good line popped up: “Wow, that poem’s amazing!” “Oh man, this line slaps!”

Every so often, a herd of galloping horses would streak past the SUV. Riders shouting and cracking whips sent envious glances trailing behind them.

Gu Lang’s late start that morning—oversleeping due to last-minute shopping for camping gear and cooking supplies—meant they didn’t set off until afternoon. After stuffing themselves silly at lunch, they finally entered the heart of the prairie. Given the time constraints, they wouldn’t get very far before needing to camp.

To Wang Ping, this whole endeavor seemed pointless. The prairie already had plenty of established tourist areas offering cozy accommodations and delicious food. Why venture into the wilderness unless you wanted to pretend you were some kind of wandering poet?

And sure enough, trouble struck when twilight descended. As Gu Lang parked near a riverbank to set up camp and prepare dinner, disaster unfolded.

Gu Lang, genius that he was, had bought a pot—but no food.

“Boss…do you still have any snacks?”

After politely declining fan requests for a live outdoor barbecue session, Gu Lang nervously shut off the stream and turned to Wang Ping, who was lounging nearby, smoking contemplatively.

“I have my butt!” Wang Ping snapped, turning away in disgust.

Professional streamer, huh? If this pathetic display ever leaked online, Gu Lang would never hear the end of it.

“Grrrrrr…”

His stomach growled loudly, making matters worse. Frustrated, Wang Ping flicked his cigarette butt into the fire and stomped off toward the river.

The shallow waters barely reached mid-thigh, leaving the SUV’s tires half-submerged. Under the flickering glow of the campfire, the sandy bottom shimmered clearly—but no fish darted beneath the surface. Fishing in such flowing waters? Not a chance. He might wait till sunrise without spotting a single fin.

“How about we head back to the city?” Gu Lang suggested timidly.

They hadn’t gone too far yet. Turning back now meant reaching town before midnight, possibly finding restaurants still open. A quick meal, stocking up on supplies, and returning unnoticed sounded like a solid plan.

Wang Ping sighed deeply, resigning himself to Gu Lang’s incompetence once again.

Pouring water from the army-issue pot onto the fire to extinguish it, Gu Lang scrambled to dismantle the tent while Wang Ping retreated to the backseat, intending to sleep off his hunger. Surely unconsciousness would dull the ache in his belly.

“Awoooooo…”

In the distance, the mournful howl of wolves echoed through the night air.

Shivering, Gu Lang glanced around nervously, picking up speed as he dismantled the tent.

Right—he’d almost forgotten. Wolves roamed these parts at night!

With headlights blazing, the SUV resumed its journey. Wang Ping abandoned the cramped front seat for the spacious rear bench, leaving Gu Lang to drive solo into the dark.

“Haaaaah…”

A yawn escaped Gu Lang’s lips as he checked the rearview mirror. There lay Wang Ping, snoring softly, oblivious to the world. Exhaustion clouded Gu Lang’s eyes, heavy lids drooping dangerously low.

...

Wang Ping woke abruptly to the sound of mechanical beeping.

He’d been dreaming—a vivid scene where he drove a vehicle carrying teammates toward a new mission site. But then Jacob, insufferable as always, insisted they’d veered off course and demanded a U-turn. Furious, Wang Ping slammed the brakes, lurching forward—and then reality intruded.

“Ding dong! You have deviated from your route! Recalculating navigation! Please make a U-turn!”

“Ding dong!…”

In the pitch-black interior, the monotonous voice of the GPS droned on relentlessly, punctuated only by the hum of the engine.

“What the hell is Gu Lang doing?”

Groaning, Wang Ping rubbed his protesting stomach and crawled back to the passenger seat. Turning his head, he caught sight of Gu Lang slumped against the window, fast asleep, hands clasped loosely over his chest. A thin trail of drool dripped from the corner of his mouth.

“Oh crap!”

Wang Ping recoiled, every hair on his body standing on end.

“ROAR!!!!”

A scream of pure anguish erupted from inside the car.

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