Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C93

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But in reality, the man quietly took out his backpack, emptied its contents, and carried Wang Ping into the service area’s supermarket. Wang Ping crouched inside the backpack, peeking through the zipper gap as he followed Gu Lang around the aisles. Whenever he spotted something he wanted, he’d kick Gu Lang holding the bag. By the time they reached the checkout counter, Gu Lang’s hands were full of snacks like beef jerky, pork bites, and spicy fried meat sticks. There were even two packs of spicy gluten strips.

However, just as they were checking out, Wang Ping started kicking again—first gently, then wildly. Behind the cashier, shelves displayed various brands of cigarettes. If Wang Ping had felt something was missing after buying all those snacks, seeing the cigarettes made it click.

Gu Lang hadn’t bought any cigarettes!

Back when Wang Ping was still human, he didn’t have a smoking habit. During downtime, when everyone gathered for drinks and karaoke, they might occasionally light up and compete to see who could blow the roundest or farthest smoke rings. But during field missions, aside from Captain Luke, who occasionally smoked, everyone else—including Anna—was indifferent about lighting up.

Yet, a week ago, half a pack of menthol cigarettes had triggered some nostalgia for Wang Ping, and since then, he’d developed a fondness for the melancholic feeling that came with smoking.

The cashier watched Gu Lang lug a mountain of snacks to the counter, her face cycling through expressions of confusion, disbelief, surprise, and disdain. “If you think stuff here is expensive, don’t buy it! Why look so heartbroken?” she thought, rolling her eyes inwardly.

Under her scornful gaze, Gu Lang fumbled around the checkout counter, pointing at every edible item before finally settling on a pack of Huanghelou cigarettes. After paying, he fled under a hail of judgmental stares. This, he vowed silently, was the most embarrassing shopping trip of his life.

Back in the car, Wang Ping excitedly rummaged through the bag for the newly purchased pack of cigarettes. Gu Lang frowned. “Why are you buying cigarettes? Do you even know how to smoke?”

After all, back home, he’d never seen Wang Ping touch a cigarette. And Sheng Grandma’s house certainly didn’t have any lying around.

After a moment’s thought, realization dawned on Gu Lang. Slapping his thigh, he exclaimed angrily, “It must be that old man Sheng again! Damn it, I knew he was bored out of his mind! First, he tricked Dahei into smoking during their patrol, and now this!”

Wang Ping shook his head inwardly. So the guy who’d been avoiding him all week was named Old Man Sheng… What a failure. They saw each other every morning, yet he hadn’t even known the man’s name.

Wang Ping had considered lighting up after going a week without a cigarette. But with Gu Lang’s livestream still running, he suppressed the urge, content to stroke the cigarette pack lovingly before tearing open a bag of spicy gluten strips and settling into the passenger seat.

Gu Lang’s words hadn’t gone unnoticed by the livestream audience. With only him and Wang Ping in the car, it wasn’t hard to guess whom he was talking about. The chat quickly lit up with speculation:

“Who learned to smoke?”

“Who’s Dahei?”

“Is it Boss?”

“I want to see it.”

“I want to see it+1.”

“As expected of Buzz-Cut Bro.”

“Being the boss means standing out.”

“I want to see it +10086.”

“Isn’t nicotine toxic to animals?”

"The guy above is clueless—Buzz-Cut Bro’s got natural toxin resistance, sarcasm.jpg."

“That’s crazy! Streamer, hurry up and light one for Boss!”

Gu Lang: “….”

Too caught up in the moment, he’d forgotten the livestream was still live. Wasn’t this supposed to be his episode? Did people still want to watch?

“Ding dong!”

“HighColdWeirdo gifted the streamer ×1 Rocket…”

“HighColdWeirdo: I got 10 Super Rockets ready to give, waiting for Boss to smoke.”

“Hmm…” Gu Lang gripped the steering wheel and turned to Wang Ping. “Boss, should I light one for you?”

Wang Ping: … Seriously, where’s your dignity as a streamer, Gu Lang?

If Grandma Sheng weren’t against watching streams, Gu Lang’s legs would’ve been broken long before Old Man Sheng’s salary got docked.

Gu Lang’s car camera usually focused on him, with Wang Ping occasionally appearing in the frame but mostly staying off-screen. It was a style he’d adopted from other streamers—main lens on the scenery outside, smaller lens on his own “handsome” face.

But under relentless pressure from the livestream audience, Gu Lang begrudgingly adjusted the rearview mirror camera to focus on Wang Ping. Now the main view showed the scenery, while the smaller screen zoomed in on Wang Ping. As for Gu Lang himself? Completely out of frame.

Not stopping there, the streamer eagerly tore open the new pack of Huanghelou, pulling out a cigarette and offering it to Wang Ping’s mouth. Many viewers promptly switched views, making Wang Ping’s small screen the main display.

“Oh no, I forgot to buy a lighter!” Gu Lang groaned in frustration.

Wang Ping shot him a look that screamed idiot. Only after reminders from the chat did Gu Lang remember the cigarette lighter built into the dashboard.

With eager servitude, Gu Lang lit the cigarette. The livestream audience watched as Wang Ping expertly held the cigarette between two tiny claws, took a drag, and leaned back against the seat with a blissful expression. A perfectly round smoke ring spiraled out of his furry little mouth, drifting lazily toward the camera before dissipating.

The sound of Super Rocket notifications exploded in the chat:

“HighColdWeirdo gifted the streamer ×10 Super Rockets…”

“IllegalAccount gifted the streamer ×5 Super Rockets…”

“NetLitGen3 gifted the streamer ×8 Super Rockets…”

“PartingIsSuchSweetSorrow gifted the streamer ×6 Super Rockets…”

“SnarkyBye gifted the streamer ×5 Super Rockets…”

“TheSoftshellTurtleNeedsToGoVegetarian gifted the streamer ×99 Fishballs…”

Hmm… Something strange had slipped into the mix. Wang Ping glanced at the tablet screen, spotting fishballs quietly slipping away amidst the flurry of rocket effects. He sighed, blowing another smoke ring.

Since he could now smoke openly—and Gu Lang had already provided a convenient excuse for why—he decided to let loose. Humans truly had remarkable adaptability. Before long, Wang Ping figured, the internet would be buzzing about the honey badger who smoked, following trends like shopping dogs, gaming cats, and phone-answering monkeys.

For a fleeting moment, Wang Ping wondered if he should try writing in front of Gu Lang someday. But just as quickly, he shook his head, banishing the thought. Writing was a line he couldn’t cross—a forbidden act no one could accept.

The car started moving again, exiting the service area as Gu Lang headed toward the Yangli Expressway.

“We’re off! Hulunbuir Grasslands!”

“Pfft… Cough cough…”

Wang Ping choked on a puff of smoke, nearly crying from the coughing fit.

“You’re casually driving over a thousand kilometers for a livestream—does Grandma even know about this?”

Wang Ping didn’t know that Gu Lang had initially planned to go abroad. Unfortunately, Grandma Sheng had confiscated his passport, leaving him no choice but to settle for Inner Mongolia. Since Hulunbuir was also a famous tourist destination in China, Grandma Sheng reluctantly approved.

Meanwhile, in Shanghai, Chen Bai—who had signed Gu Lang and indirectly brought the perpetually trending Buzz-Cut Bro under Douyu’s banner—was happily sipping coffee while humming a tune. Passing through the office area, he noticed his assistant anxiously waiting outside his door.

“Xiao Zhang, here so early?” Chen Bai greeted cheerfully, taking another sip of coffee as he approached.

“Manager, your newly signed streamer is live! He says he’s heading to the Hulunbuir Grasslands!” Xiao Zhang blurted out urgently.

“Pfft!” Chen Bai spat out his coffee.

“He’s LIVE?! Holy crap, doesn’t this kid understand basic protocol? Does he not know to inform us first?!”

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