Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C92

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Sure enough, there was still no sign of the so-called "qi" or energy flow. At this point, Wang Ping wasn’t even sure if this body had something like a dantian—a mystical energy reservoir in martial arts lore. After standing on the mountaintop for ages trying to sense it, all he'd managed to inhale was fresh air tinged with the scent of tea leaves instead of any mythical “purple qi.”

On his way home, Wang Ping unexpectedly noticed that Gu Lang, who usually slept in until noon, had risen unusually early today.

After breakfast, as usual, Gu Lang got ready to drive out. Ever since being pranked countless times by Wang Ping over the past week, the man had started leaving the house more frequently. It seemed like one of them—either the honey badger or the human—had to stay behind whenever the other was around.

But today, instead of rushing off immediately, Gu Lang sat in the driver's seat of the Jeep Wrangler and waved at Wang Ping.

“Boss, do you want to go out and play?”

“Go out and play?” Wang Ping blinked instinctively and glanced at Grandma Sheng.

A week ago, when Gu Lang drove into town to meet up with his buddies, Wang Ping had wanted to tag along just for fun. But no sooner had the Wrangler left the gate than Grandma Sheng returned from the tea-processing workshop. She opened the passenger door and yanked Wang Ping out by the scruff of his neck, sternly warning Gu Lang not to take him gallivanting around.

Wang Ping, utterly baffled, didn’t understand why simply going along for some harmless fun counted as mischief. Later, he learned what happened during a previous escapade involving Dahei—the family dog—and Gu Lang’s drinking buddies. Apparently, after getting drunk, those clowns had poured half a glass of strong liquor down Dahei’s throat. That night, upon returning home, Dahei went berserk, knocking on doors and peeing everywhere in Shengjiawu village, causing chaos all night long.

Since then, Grandma Sheng strictly forbade Dahei from accompanying Gu Lang outside. And now, poor Wang Ping found himself banned too.

In truth, if Wang Ping really wanted to leave, Grandma Sheng wouldn’t be able to stop him. But once she laid down the law, Gu Lang caved instantly. Without his designated “driver,” Wang Ping’s short legs could only carry him as far as the tea plantation.

“What’s going on here? Is the sun rising in the west? How dare Gu Lang invite me out while Grandma is watching?” Wang Ping looked nervously at Grandma Sheng, fearing her sharp rebuke.

Surprisingly though, this time, Grandma Sheng remained silent. Instead, she patted Wang Ping gently on the head, sternly warned Gu Lang to “not mess around again” and come back early, then left with Dahei.

Wang Ping suspected that Gu Lang must have done some sweet-talking behind his back when he wasn’t around.

“This is how it should be! I’m a man! What kind of man doesn’t go out and explore?”

Cheerfully, Wang Ping scrambled into the car, worried that Grandma might change her mind at the last second. After all, changing mind was practically a woman’s prerogative—no matter how old they were, Grandma Sheng was still a woman.

The Wrangler roared out of the courtyard. After closing the gate, Gu Lang drove along the village road onto the provincial highway, heading north.

North?

Confused, Wang Ping stared at the Lin’an District sign they passed. Not heading to Hangzhou? Could they be going to Shanghai again?

It wasn’t until they reached the AJ County service area that Wang Ping realized why Grandma Sheng had agreed to let him go with Gu Lang.

Not wanting to reveal the exact location of their home, Gu Lang parked at the service area and retrieved a tablet from his backpack in the backseat. He fixed it onto the dashboard and turned on the live streaming app.

To Wang Ping’s surprise, quite a few people were already in the channel.

Unlike popular streamers with loyal followings who broadcast regularly—or outdoor adventurers who teased upcoming spectacles with banner ads—Gu Lang was an amateur “wildcard” streamer without a contract. Previously, his sporadic streams maintained viewership thanks to the buzz generated by his African misadventures.

Now back in China, his broadcasts lacked consistency. His content—mostly driving around town—was dull, and his viewer numbers quickly dropped.

However, he’d pulled a clever trick: uploading edited clips saved from his African adventures. With professional editing help, he titled the compilation “The Tragedy of Wild Elephants” and made it available for on-demand viewing.

The response was decent; it reportedly stirred interest within wildlife conservation circles. Still, most viewers clamored to see more of Wang Ping.

So naturally, when fans saw Gu Lang go live, many tuned in eagerly, greeting him warmly.

“Hello everyone! I’m Gu Lang, your outdoor adventure streamer.”

He paused briefly, glancing at Wang Ping before adding, “This is Boss, my outdoor partner.”

Silent, Wang Ping watched greetings like “Hello Boss!” and “Greetings, Boss!” scroll across the screen. Suddenly, he felt like he was playing straight man to Gu Lang’s antics.

“I’ve kept everyone waiting. As you know, I’ve just returned from Tanzania in Africa. There, Boss and I experienced the breathtaking savannah landscapes, witnessed the plight of African elephants, and even helped local police solve a poaching case. This time, we’ll explore the stunning scenery of our homeland!”

What?

Wang Ping stared blankly at Gu Lang.

“Not heading to Shanghai? Which remote wilderness are we visiting now? Aren’t you afraid Grandma will kill you when we get back?”

“Also, great news! Last week, I officially signed with Douyu! From now on, including Boss, we’ll be regulars there. This will be my first official live stream as a contracted Douyu streamer!”

Gu Lang spoke with evident pride.

“So THAT’S why Grandma agreed to let us go out! Everyone else knew about this except ME?!”

Black lines of frustration crossed Wang Ping’s face as he glared at the smug human. Was this revenge? Definitely revenge!

Wang Ping even suspected that Dahei, the dim-witted dog, might know about the trip—but Gu Lang deliberately kept HIM in the dark.

How childish!

With a disdainful glare at Gu Lang, Wang Ping ignored the barrage of fan requests for him to “act cute” in the live chat and retreated to the backseat.

If they were going on a long journey, how could they not prepare food?

Perhaps to ensure Wang Ping fell for the ruse completely, aside from Gu Lang's usual backpack, all the snacks and water had been sneakily stashed in the trunk beforehand.

For about thirty seconds, Wang Ping glared furiously at Gu Lang, who was grinning into the camera. Before Gu Lang could fully relish his successful prank, he obediently hopped out to fetch food from the trunk for the badger.

Beef jerky was essential.

Maybe because the first proper meal Wang Ping ate after becoming a badger was beef jerky, he developed a particular fondness for it.

Besides jerky, Gu Lang also stocked up on nuts, dried squid strips, roasted fish slices, and more—almost all intended for Wang Ping.

Picky, Wang Ping pawed through the stash in the backseat, furrowing his little white-furred brow.

Something still felt missing.

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