Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C91

Please support the translation by reading the translation and commenting on otakutl official site.

Thank you.

Everyone from Otaku Translation

Wang Ping watched as Gu Lang yawned and climbed out of bed, scratching his butt while shuffling toward the bathroom in nothing but his underwear. Suppressing laughter, Wang Ping clung to one of Dahei’s front legs, craning his neck to peer out into the hallway. From the bathroom came the sound of running water, accompanied by a little tune hummed under Gu Lang's breath. But just a second later, a blood-curdling scream echoed through the entire second floor.

"Huh? Ahhh… oh no, holy crap!"

The thud of something heavy hitting the floor followed, and chaos erupted from within the bathroom. Out stumbled Gu Lang, clutching his shorts, with a toothbrush and cup flying behind him as he tumbled into the hallway.

"Ha ha ha~" Wang Ping collapsed onto the floor next to Dahei, convulsing with laughter.

"Woof!"

Dahei was clearly startled, its doggy face full of confusion as it stared at the near-hysterical Gu Lang.

"Ahhh... Calm down! Stay calm!"

Gu Lang’s legs felt like overcooked noodles. Unable to bear looking at his own "brother" again, he trembled, trying to muster some courage while frantically searching for clothes. He didn’t even notice the lump of giggling fur practically melting into the floor beside Dahei.

After hastily throwing on some random clothing and grabbing a pair of beach shorts, Gu Lang dashed downstairs, his legs still shaking. Ignoring Grandma Sheng’s questioning calls, he jumped straight into his Jeep Wrangler and sped off toward the nearest hospital in Lin’an District.

By the time Wang Ping realized what was happening and chased after him to the courtyard, all that remained was an open gate. The Jeep was already long gone.

"This kid! Always so impulsive—where could he be rushing off to?" Grandma Sheng muttered, placing a small pot of rice porridge on the dining table. Turning around and spotting Wang Ping, she smiled warmly. "Huan Huan, let’s not wait for him. Let’s eat first!"

Wang Ping: ... Just missed it by a step. What a shame—I really wanted to see the look on Gu Lang’s face when he saw the doctor.

Gu Lang returned as quickly as he left. It turned out to be a false alarm; his body was fine. In theory, he should’ve been relieved, but Gu Lang couldn’t shake the embarrassment. The memory of the doctor’s strange looks and the nurse struggling not to laugh until her face turned red made Gu Lang want to dig a hole and bury himself alive.

No one was home. Dahei had gone out with Grandma Sheng to the tea workshop, leaving Wang Ping alone in the living room, staring blankly at the TV. When Gu Lang walked in, he scanned the room, his eyes landing on Wang Ping. With a dark expression, he asked, "Was this your doing?"

The little critter gave Gu Lang an innocent glance before casually turning its attention back to the TV.

But Wang Ping couldn’t hold it in for long. The thought of Gu Lang’s possible ordeal at the hospital sent him into another fit of uncontrollable laughter. He rolled off the couch, clutching his belly and collapsing onto the floor.

Gu Lang: "..."

So infuriating! But what could he do?

At first, Gu Lang thought that maybe the critter was just adjusting to its new environment. As long as he stayed vigilant, it wouldn’t get many chances to pull pranks. But over the next week, Gu Lang learned firsthand the saying, “A thief can steal for a thousand days, but you can’t guard against them forever.”

Locking doors? Ha! This thing could walk on ceilings. Unless Gu Lang figured out how to lock the ceiling too, locking doors was useless.

Salt in the water glass? Dead mice in the bed? Child’s play.

The worst part came one day when Gu Lang discovered that his beloved King’s Glory gaming account had somehow dropped from Diamond rank to Bronze. One of his closest teammates, who often played with him late into the night, called him up specifically to curse him out, accusing him of deliberately sabotaging their game and ruining his Diamond-tier account.

Alright, fine. Wang Ping admitted that using his tail to play games wasn’t exactly ideal—it did slow his reaction time.

After just a week, Gu Lang felt like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Desperate, he began brainstorming ways to keep the critter occupied.

---

One morning, Wang Ping hopped onto Dahei’s back for their usual mountain patrol. Over the past week, he hadn’t touched the laptop hidden under the bed, nor had he given much thought to WAP. His daily routine consisted of tormenting Gu Lang and going on morning patrols with Dahei.

Dahei had grown accustomed to Wang Ping’s presence. If it didn’t find him waiting in the living room in the mornings, the dog would trot upstairs to fetch him.

Once they reached the tea plantation, Wang Ping sent Dahei off to roam the fields while he climbed to the mountaintop to watch the sunrise—a ritual he’d established over the past week. Only during these quiet moments did Wang Ping allow his mind to wander. Sometimes, he cried.

Today, however, as he gazed out at the misty valley below, his thoughts drifted—not to Jacob or any of his former teammates—but to his father.

It suddenly struck Wang Ping that during high school, there was a period when he used to climb mountains every morning to watch the sunrise, just like now. Back then, he’d done it with his father. Now, he did it with a dog.

Funny enough, those early morning hikes weren’t about watching sunrises or staying fit. They were about practicing Qi Gong.

Wang Ping’s father was a staunch materialist, a firm believer in scientific principles, though occasionally prone to bouts of pretentiousness and youthful indignation. During that time, news of a self-proclaimed Qi Gong master had spread like wildfire among his colleagues at work. This supposed guru claimed to have invented a form of Qi Gong that allowed practitioners to absorb the mythical “Primordial Purple Qi,” promising health, vitality, and longevity. Naturally, this attracted a crowd of elderly enthusiasts eager to join in.

When Wang Ping’s father heard about it, he was furious. How dare someone peddle such nonsense in a research institution? Surely, they needed to teach this charlatan a lesson.

Being the intellectual he was, Wang Ping’s father decided to approach the matter logically. Instead of exposing the fraud outright or calling the police, he conducted interviews with the elderly practitioners, asking them about their experiences.

Wang Ping knew about this from the start and even discussed it with his father. To them, the whole Qi Gong business seemed ridiculous. The so-called master was simply convincing these seniors to wake up before dawn, climb mountains, and stand on the summit at sunrise, supposedly absorbing the elusive “Purple Qi.” According to the participants, since starting the practice, they no longer felt dizzy, their energy levels soared, and they grew stronger each day, effortlessly climbing five flights of stairs without breaking a sweat.

Listening to his father rant about it, Wang Ping burst out laughing. Honestly, who wouldn’t feel healthier waking up early and hiking every day? Clearly, the “master’s” real talent lay in his silver tongue, attributing the benefits of physical exercise to his dubious Qi Gong techniques.

But Wang Ping’s amusement didn’t last long. Shortly afterward, his father signed up for the classes, determined to infiltrate the group, build rapport, and eventually expose the scam. And naturally, Wang Ping had to tag along.

As his father put it, young people should exercise more if they wanted to stay healthy.

For two months, father and son dutifully practiced alongside the others. But then something unexpected happened: both men began to feel sensations in their Dantians (the energy center below the navel).

No words could describe the profound impact of experiencing genuine Qi sensations.

Suddenly, exposing the scam was the last thing on Wang Senior’s mind. Every morning, he dragged Wang Ping out of bed, drove to the outskirts, and climbed mountains to absorb the “Purple Qi.”

But just as they were getting into the swing of things, the master was arrested.

The reason was simple: the guy was a fraud. His so-called Qi Gong techniques were nothing more than fragments of ancient Daoist breathing exercises stolen from Longhu Mountain. While these practices could induce Qi sensations in beginners, no one knew what to do afterward. Even the monks at Longhu Mountain avoided teaching it, fearing it might harm practitioners.

With the truth revealed, panic set in. What if absorbing too much “Purple Qi” caused their Dantians to explode? Those once-zealous seniors scattered like birds, abandoning their pre-dawn rituals. None wanted to risk losing their hard-earned health.

Still, it wasn’t entirely useless. That year, Wang Ping noticed significant improvements in his strength and stamina.

Now, as he gazed at the red glow on the horizon, Wang Ping felt a familiar itch.

He wasn’t human anymore anyway. Why not give it another try?

Please vote for this novel at

https://www.novelupdates.com/series/honey-badgers-streaming-life/

If you would like to support this translation, you may choose any one of the options below.

Tier 1: 5 Advance chapters

Access fee $3.00 Monthly