Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C81

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Outside the white walls of the courtyard, rows of flowers and plants lined the perimeter. Painted on the pristine walls were elegant depictions of plum blossoms, lending an air of refinement. At the center stood a small gatehouse topped with green tiles. The two shiny iron gates were shut tight, adorned with images of door gods.

Gu Lang got out to open the gates, revealing an impeccably clean yard within. Facing the entrance was a three-story building covered in grayish-white tiles. Behind it stretched a vast bamboo grove, rustling softly in the breeze.

Wang Ping now understood why Gu Lang preferred staying at his grandmother’s place instead of living in Hangzhou. With blue skies, white clouds, verdant mountains, and clear waters, this idyllic countryside embodied every poetic description of pastoral beauty. Plus, it wasn’t far from Hangzhou, making it convenient for anything he needed. If given the choice, Wang Ping would have chosen this serene retreat over the noisy city too.

To the left of the courtyard stood a tin-roofed shed, somewhat incongruous with the otherwise elegant setting. It appeared to be a garage, housing an old Santana sedan. There was plenty of space left for Gu Lang’s Wrangler.

On the right, there was a quaint little pavilion with a stone table and a pair of armchairs. However, next to the pavilion sat a crudely built wooden doghouse that clashed horribly with the refined aesthetic of the courtyard. Wang Ping stared at it, utterly baffled.

What a beautiful courtyard! Why not get a nicer doghouse?

Wait—no! Why even keep a dog in the first place?

Once the car was inside the courtyard, Gu Lang went back to close the gates. Meanwhile, Wang Ping hopped out of the car to survey what might become his long-term residence.

“Woof!”

“Arf arf!”

Just as Wang Ping was taking everything in, a sudden bark startled him from behind. Turning quickly, he saw a border collie—black and white, about the size of Rosette—charging straight at him, eyes wide.

“Oh sht!”

Before he could react, Wang Ping instinctively raised his claws, ready to fight.

“Dahei!”

A sharp voice rang out from beyond the gate. The charging dog skidded to a halt just shy of a meter away from Wang Ping, growling low.

Looking up, Wang Ping saw an elderly woman walking slowly toward them. Her hair, streaked with silver, was tied neatly into a bun, and she wore a blue-flowered blouse over white pants. On her feet were black embroidered shoes with delicate bamboo patterns. Despite her age, her steps were steady and full of energy.

“Grandma, you were out? You should’ve told me if you needed anything—I could’ve brought it back for you!” Gu Lang hurried over with an apologetic smile.

The dog bared its teeth at Wang Ping, issuing a low, threatening growl before trotting off to circle around Gu Lang and the old woman, tail wagging furiously.

“Oh, you’re back early,” the grandmother said with a chuckle, pointing at Gu Lang. “What on earth are you wearing? I didn’t even recognize you earlier. After being cooped up at home all week, I figured you’d stay out until dark.” She took a few more steps forward, locking eyes with Wang Ping.

“Yikes!” Startled, the grandmother stepped back. “What is that thing?”

Wang Ping: … Grandma, I’m a person! No, wait—I’m a honey badger! Not a thing!

“Grandma,” Gu Lang interjected, stepping closer and gently guiding her arm while gesturing toward Wang Ping. “You forgot? I went to the big city to pick him up.”

“Oh, so this is that… honey badger you brought back from Africa?” Grandma Sheng scrutinized Wang Ping, then turned to ask skeptically, “Are you sure you weren’t scammed? I’ve seen my fair share of things in my youth, traveling south and north. This doesn’t look like a badger—it looks more like some misshapen water monkey!”

“Uh…”

Gu Lang shot Wang Ping a pleading glance, subtly shaking his grandmother’s arm as he explained, “Grandma, this is a honey badger. It’s different from the kind of badgers you’re thinking of.”

“All right, all right! Whatever you say, I won’t stop you from keeping it,” Grandma Sheng replied dismissively. After taking a few more steps, she paused and turned back to Gu Lang. “By the way, since you’re planning to keep it at home, have you named it yet?”

Gu Lang scratched his head and glanced at Wang Ping, briefly considering calling him “Boss.” But the word felt awkward, especially when his family used it. Noticing a certain gleam in his grandmother’s eyes, he hesitated, then shook his head.

“Not yet…”

Wang Ping narrowed his eyes, watching the black-and-white dog—named Dahei(Big Black in chinese) despite its coloration—wagging its tail nearby. A sinking feeling settled in his chest.

“Hmm, since it’s a badger, let’s call it ‘Huan Huan(Means Happy in chinese).’ Easy to remember!” Grandma Sheng waved at Wang Ping. “Huan Huan, come here!”

Wang Ping: … How many years do you get for hitting an elder? Asking for a friend. Urgent!

“Woof… woof woof!”

Dahei, standing by the grandmother’s feet, barked at Wang Ping. Apparently annoyed by the badger’s feigned ignorance, the dog glared menacingly before wagging its tail happily after receiving praise from Grandma Sheng.

Tch! Stupid mutt!

Reluctantly, Wang Ping shuffled after the trio—one human, one dog—through the courtyard and into the three-story house.

On the way back, Gu Lang had recounted Grandma Sheng’s entrepreneurial history, giving Wang Ping a rough idea of her character.

However, the grandmother didn’t quite match the image of a tough businesswoman Wang Ping had imagined. At first glance, she seemed no different from any other rural grandma—except perhaps for her youthful appearance and commanding demeanor.

Still, Wang Ping couldn’t help but feel intimidated by this woman who, thirty years ago, had built a three-story Western-style house in a village of low, squat cottages—and became the first person in Shengjiawu to sell tea while driving a car.

Upon entering the house, a large living room greeted them just beyond the foyer. Through a rear door, Wang Ping spotted a path leading directly to the bamboo grove in the backyard.

To the left of the living room were the kitchen and bathroom. To the right lay Grandma Sheng’s bedroom, adjacent to the staircase leading upstairs.

As soon as they entered, Dahei confidently padded over to a cushion near the coffee table and flopped down, casting a glance at Wang Ping before letting out another bark.

What are you barking for, dumb dog!

Sullenly, Wang Ping climbed onto the sofa, using the cushions to hoist himself up. He settled against the backrest with a huff.

“Heh, this little guy isn’t shy at all—not afraid of Dahei either,” Grandma Sheng remarked with a smile, watching the interaction between the dog and the badger. Turning to Gu Lang, she added, “I was thinking of getting another dog to keep Dahei company. Looks like I don’t need to now.”

Gu Lang discreetly glanced at Wang Ping, who appeared docile enough, and quickly changed the subject. “Grandma, can we eat soon? I’m starving.”

“I didn’t know you were coming back today, so I didn’t prepare anything. Go find something in the kitchen yourself.”

Grandma Sheng rolled her eyes, placed the bunch of green onions on the kitchen counter, and headed toward her room. After a few steps, she turned back to point at Gu Lang. “And look at what you’re wearing—it’s hideous. Go change immediately.”

“Uh…” Gu Lang exchanged a helpless glance with Wang Ping, forcing a bitter smile before nodding obediently. Once Grandma Sheng disappeared into her room, Gu Lang darted straight into the kitchen.

Wang Ping, however, didn’t mind. Back in the city, Gu Lang had stocked the car with snacks—which Wang Ping had devoured entirely.

Whether Grandma Sheng was taking a nap or poring over financial plans behind closed doors, Wang Ping neither knew nor cared to guess. Bored, he lounged on the sofa, examining the slightly outdated but still tasteful decor in the living room.

Suddenly, Dahei, who had been lying quietly, rose and crept over. When Wang Ping shifted his gaze to the dog, Dahei wagged its tail and leaned in, sniffing intently at Wang Ping’s hindquarters.

Oh, come on!

Wang Ping’s butt clenched involuntarily as he hastily scooted backward. His paw swiped reflexively at the dog’s face.

What is wrong with you dogs?! Why are you so obsessed with sniffing people’s butts?!

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