Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C82

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Two blue-and-white porcelain bowls steamed invitingly on the table. Inside each bowl was a generous serving of noodles topped with a rich sauce made from eggs and minced meat, garnished with freshly chopped green onions. The onions, however, were unevenly torn rather than neatly sliced—a detail that didn’t escape Wang Ping’s notice.

To be fair, Gu Lang’s cooking skills weren’t half bad. While the presentation left much to be desired—borderline offensive, even—the aroma wafting from the bowls was undeniably appetizing.

“Who knew Gu Lang had this kind of talent…” Wang Ping muttered under his breath, still skeptical.

If one were to nitpick, Gu Lang wasn’t exactly a second-generation rich kid—he was third-generation. His mother was the true second-generation heir. It was hard to imagine how someone born into such privilege could end up with a personality as laid-back as Gu Lang’s.

Wang Ping suspected it had something to do with Grandma Sheng’s upbringing. As for Gu Lang’s parents, they were rarely mentioned. Even when they did come up, Gu Lang would quickly steer the conversation elsewhere. Since he didn’t seem eager to talk about them, Wang Ping didn’t press the matter.

For now, the pressing question was: how was he supposed to eat these noodles?

Staring at his dagger-like claws, Wang Ping grimaced. These paws had dug up bird eggs, poked hyenas, and wrestled venomous snakes. No matter how many times he washed them, the thought of using them to eat felt… unappetizing.

This wasn’t like scavenging honey in the wild, where you could lick half and discard the rest. Wasting food was unacceptable, especially at home.

As Wang Ping stared at the bowl, deliberating, Gu Lang suddenly realised ho dumb he was.

“Wait here.”

He disappeared into the kitchen and returned moments later with a metal fork in hand.

After sizing up Wang Ping’s claws, Gu Lang rummaged through the lower shelf of the coffee table, pulling out a rubber band. He then carefully strapped the fork onto Wang Ping’s furry paw.

“There! Now you can eat.”

Gu Lang seemed quite pleased with his makeshift solution, even clapping his hands in satisfaction.

Wang Ping gave him a sidelong glance.

Ever since boarding the plane, he’d been noticing something odd. It was as if Gu Lang’s brain had taken a detour and veered further off course with every passing day. Instead of treating Wang Ping like an animal, Gu Lang acted as though he were just another human being.

After all, not many people would sneak a tablet through airport security to keep their pet entertained.

Was Wang Ping overthinking things, or was Gu Lang’s thought process truly that unconventional?

Shaking off his doubts, Wang Ping focused on the task at hand. Perched on the coffee table, he instinctively wrapped his legs around the oversized porcelain bowl and attempted to spear a few strands of noodles with the fork.

“Slurp~~~”

The noodles twirled gracefully before disappearing into his mouth.

Ah… delicious!

A look of pure satisfaction spread across Wang Ping’s furry face, prompting Gu Lang to beam with pride.

“Whine…” From the sidelines, Dahei rolled its eyes and turned away, offering the two gluttons nothing more than the back of its head.

Using a fork to eat noodles wasn’t entirely unprecedented. After all, honey badgers were known as one of the few non-primate species capable of making and using tools. If pressed, one could even consult experts or professors to justify the behavior.

But just because Wang Ping could use a fork didn’t mean he should push his luck.

Wang Ping resolved to tread carefully. Aside from Gu Lang, he needed to avoid drawing too much attention to himself in front of others. A single slip-up could spell disaster—not only for Gu Lang but potentially for Wang Ping himself, who might end up as a lab experiment.

No sooner had he decided to adopt a low-profile approach than Gu Lang presented him with a new dilemma.

Later that afternoon, in the study on the second floor…

Gu Lang had changed out of his tracksuit into a tank top and beach shorts. Slumped lifelessly in his chair, he tapped away at his phone, engrossed in a game.

Wang Ping sat on the desk opposite him, staring at the contract Gu Lang had brought back from Manager Chen.

Around one or two o’clock, Dahei had trotted off on his own, without needing anyone to accompany him.

Gu Lang explained that Dahei was off on his daily patrol of the mountain.

Apparently, Dahei’s parents were both police dogs, making him a second-generation canine with distinguished bloodlines. However, due to being a late-in-life pup, Dahei was born in a retired police dog kennel rather than a police station. Instead of being recruited by the authorities, he was adopted by Grandma Sheng.

The hideous wooden doghouse in the yard? That was the handiwork of a fifteen-year-old Gu Lang, which explained why such an eyesore existed in an otherwise picturesque courtyard.

Nowadays, with only Grandma Sheng and Gu Lang living at home, no one forbade Dahei from sleeping indoors. In fact, Gu Lang had bought him a plush cushion in the living room specifically for that purpose. Yet Dahei stubbornly insisted on sleeping in his old doghouse, growling at anyone who dared disturb it.

Grandma Sheng chalked it up to nostalgia and let him be.

Over the years, Dahei had become Grandma Sheng’s constant companion, accompanying her everywhere—even on her morning and afternoon patrols of the tea plantation to prevent vandalism and monitor fire hazards.

In recent years, as Grandma Sheng grew older, the responsibility of patrolling had been handed over to a distant relative from Shengjiawu. But Dahei remained steadfast, continuing his routine rain or shine.

While listening to Gu Lang’s summary, Wang Ping found himself far more intrigued by the tea plantation. If it weren’t for Gu Lang insisting they discuss something important, Wang Ping would have followed Dahei outside long ago.

But the matter at hand was indeed troubling.

Gu Lang clearly wanted to sign with the platform and become a full-fledged streamer. This much was evident from the DIY equipment he’d used during his African adventure.

As for Wang Ping, staying within human society—and maintaining his human habits, like gaming and browsing the internet—meant he couldn’t afford to distance himself from Gu Lang. So far, Gu Lang had proven to be a satisfactory ally.

With anyone else, Wang Ping doubted he’d fare as well. Imagine their reaction upon discovering a badger clutching a tablet and playing video games—would they call the police or scream for help?

Following the principle of mutual benefit and shared risk, Wang Ping couldn’t refuse the contract. Besides, even without it, he knew it wouldn’t be practical to stay behind in Shengjiawu while Gu Lang went off on outdoor broadcasts.

It wasn’t just Wang Ping who wouldn’t feel comfortable with that arrangement—Gu Lang likely wouldn’t either.

From this perspective, Douyu’s gesture of including a separate contract for Wang Ping showed genuine consideration. No wonder Gu Lang was tempted. Compared to other streamers, Wang Ping’s presence was undoubtedly Gu Lang’s ace in the hole.

Lost in thought, Wang Ping’s gaze wandered aimlessly until it landed on a world map hanging on the wall beside the desk.

That’s right! Gu Lang’s streaming ambitions weren’t limited to domestic locations. Hadn’t Wang Ping first encountered him in Africa?

If Gu Lang’s goal was to emulate Bear Grylls—roaming the wilderness worldwide and becoming an outdoor legend—then tagging along would give Wang Ping the chance to visit WAP’s international bases.

Then again, Wang Ping reminded himself, he was already an animal. The wilderness was his natural habitat. If they streamed outdoors, there’d be little risk of exposing his secret. After all, wild honey badgers building shelters with their own paws wasn’t unheard of.

With this realization, Wang Ping’s mind shifted gears.

He tapped the contract with his claw, snapping Gu Lang out of his gaming trance. Pushing the document toward him, Wang Ping waited patiently.

“So… have you thought it over? Do you agree with what I said earlier? Nod if you do,” Gu Lang prompted.

Wang Ping gave a perfunctory nod, glancing briefly at the black-and-white screen of Gu Lang’s Honor of Kings game before turning his attention to the swaying bamboo grove outside.

Should he stay indoors and play games, or venture into the mountains to hang out with Dahei?

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