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Chapter 101: Hand Over All the Food!
“Squeak!”
“Eeek-eeek!”
A gray-furred squirrel squirmed desperately in the grip of a certain honey badger’s claws. Unfortunately for the squirrel, Wang Ping had no sympathy for small animals. One paw rubbed at the spot on his forehead where he’d been struck earlier, and his eyes glared daggers at the little creature.
Gu Lang crept closer from behind, crouching down next to Wang Ping to get a better look at the captured squirrel. Sensing the approach of an even larger predator, the squirrel instinctively turned its teary gaze toward him.
Hmm… it was kind of cute.
"Boss... maybe we should let it go?" Gu Lang suggested cautiously, addressing the honey badger. "It’s not easy for them, you know—they’ve been working since summer to gather food for winter." As he spoke, he found himself warming up to his own argument and gave the squirrel a gentle smile.
"Get lost! Who asked for your opinion?!"
Wang Ping whipped around, baring his teeth at Gu Lang with unmistakable irritation. "Oh, so you’re feeling sorry now? You weren’t the one who got clocked by this thing! And here you are sticking up for some random rodent?"
"Uh..."
Startled by the ferocity in Wang Ping's expression, Gu Lang immediately shut his mouth. Fine, whatever. The squirrel wasn’t important anyway; if his boss wanted revenge, so be it.
Meanwhile, in the live stream chat, viewers were treated to a close-up view of the scene thanks to Gu Lang’s proximity.
"Aw, it’s adorable!"
"RIP, little guy."
"Knocking over our big boss—this is peak life for you, but also your final moments."
"Boss is mad now!"
"Haha, this is the Boss we all know and love!"
"Trash streamer, how dare you plead for mercy?"
"How could anyone eat such a cute squirrel?!"
"I bet a super rocket that this squirrel is toast."
At this point, the trembling squirrel realized there was no hope coming from Gu Lang. Turning back to Wang Ping, it began pawing pathetically at the air, silently begging for mercy. Its walnut-sized brain couldn’t comprehend why this brute was picking on it, but apologizing seemed like the safest move.
Wang Ping glanced down at the pile of pinecones near his feet—each one about as tall as his lower leg—and then back at the tearful squirrel. Hmm… could squirrels be eaten raw? Would they taste similar to voles?
"Grrr…"
His stomach growled loudly, seemingly egging him on. You can totally eat it! It’ll be delicious!
Wait, what had Gu Lang said earlier? Something about storing food for winter?
Ah yes, squirrels spent their winters holed up in tree cavities, surviving off nuts collected during the warmer months. Which meant...
SMACK!
Before the squirrel could react, Wang Ping raised his left paw and delivered a sharp slap across its face. The poor creature froze, stunned, momentarily forgetting even to beg.
The squirrel: …
Gu Lang: …
Chatroom audience: …
Boss, what are you doing?!
With a menacing snarl, Wang Ping dragged the bewildered squirrel closer, showing it his teeth before grabbing it by the scruff of its neck and shoving it toward the pile of pinecones.
"I’ll let you go," he growled, "but only if you take me to where you’ve stashed your food!"
Not bothering to check whether the squirrel understood, Wang Ping released it after finishing his gestures. Driven by hunger, he assumed the message was clear enough.
Feeling the pressure ease off its neck, the gray squirrel puffed out its cheeks and took a deep breath, ready to bolt. But just as its tiny legs started moving, it hesitated, glancing back at the pile of pinecones.
Wait, does that mean these are fair game?
Seeing no reaction from Wang Ping, the squirrel tentatively reached for the half-chewed pinecone, sneaking quick glances at the honey badger’s face.
"You idiot! I said lead the way, not snack time!"
Before the squirrel’s tiny paws could touch the prize, Wang Ping grabbed it again and smacked it once more.
Uwaaaah, big shot, what do you want from me?!
Once released, the thoroughly confused squirrel didn’t dare glance at the pinecones again. Instead, it made a break for the nearest tree. But just as it scrambled a few steps forward, it felt a sharp tug on its tail.
Looking back, it saw the same tyrant who’d slapped it twice now holding onto its fluffy appendage.
Gu Lang winced, unable to watch. How could anyone treat such a cute animal so harshly? Truly despicable…
But Wang Ping paid no mind to Gu Lang’s thoughts. His rumbling stomach urged him onward, his imagination already conjuring visions of a cozy squirrel den filled with pine nuts.
"What are you waiting for? Lead the way or else!"
Another smack landed on the squirrel’s head.
With no choice but to obey, the dejected squirrel trudged toward the base of the tree, Wang Ping trailing behind while gripping its tail.
Arriving at the trunk, Wang Ping hooked his claws into the bark, preparing to climb after the squirrel. Just as he started ascending, however, something jabbed uncomfortably against his chest. Ah, right—the drone strapped to his back, which was almost as large as he was.
Growling under his breath, Wang Ping tore open the Velcro straps securing the waist pack, yanked it off, and tossed it aside before resuming the climb alongside the reluctant guide.
"Hey! Boss! Where are you going?!"
Seeing things spiraling out of control, Gu Lang shouted anxiously from below.
"To find you something to eat, you starving wimp!"
Without looking back, Wang Ping nodded dismissively and continued climbing. With one hand occupied holding the squirrel’s tail, he couldn’t spare any effort to explain further through gestures.
The squirrel eventually led him back to the branch where it had been gathering pinecones earlier. Looking back at the imposing figure following it, confusion flickered across its furry face.
What do I have to do to avoid another beating?
Testing its luck, it took two hesitant steps along the branch lined with pinecones. Predictably, another smack landed squarely on its head.
Not there either?! Fine, I’ll just go home already!
Still quivering, the squirrel scurried higher into the canopy until it reached a sturdy forked branch near the crown of the tree. At the base of this branch, hidden beneath smaller twigs, was a fist-sized hole.
Wang Ping followed closely behind as the squirrel pushed aside the obstructing branches and squeezed inside, leaving only its tail exposed for Wang Ping to hold onto.
"Huh, smaller than I expected…"
He’d imagined a spacious burrow, but given the squirrel’s modest size compared to a rat, perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised.
"Oh well, since you’re cooperating, I’ll spare you—for now!"
Releasing the trembling tail, Wang Ping chuckled darkly and plunged his clawed hand into the hollow cavity. To his surprise, the interior proved surprisingly spacious. Pawing around blindly, he pressed his head tightly against the rough bark outside, ignoring the sticky resin smearing his fur. Hunger drove him onward; decorum could wait.
Deep within the hollow, far from the entrance, his probing claws finally encountered a stash of objects piled neatly together. The soft texture against his pads confirmed it—he’d found what he was looking for!
Meanwhile, the traumatized gray squirrel huddled deep within the recesses of the den, clutching its fluffy tail protectively as it watched the intruding claw rummage through its precious stockpile. Just as it lamented the cruelty of the world outside, Wang Ping’s black-furred paw paused over the pile of pine nuts—and then scooped up a hefty handful.
"EEEK!!!"
MY FOOD!!! Σ⊙▃⊙川
The squirrel shrieked in outrage, momentarily forgetting fear of punishment as it lunged toward Wang Ping’s thieving claw.
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