Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C69

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The viewers in the live stream were baffled as they watched the screen sway left and right. Coupled with Gu Lang’s strange cries from the side, it was hard not to feel exasperated. How did this guy manage to risk flipping the car every single time he got behind the wheel? Truly, Third Brother Gu’s luck was so bad, he couldn’t even call it misfortune—it was a curse.

After narrowly avoiding a speeding jeep overtaking them from behind, Gu Lang shifted to the right, crouching slightly to avoid being caught in the crossfire between two furiously battling animals. With a light tap on the brakes, he steered toward the farmland on the left side of the road, preparing to pull over.

One downside of former British colonies was their driving habits—they always seemed to do things backward compared to other countries. While most nations drove on the right, here, they insisted on driving on the left. This tradition supposedly dated back to King Arthur’s knights, who kept to the left so their swords could easily face any approaching enemies.

Adapting to left-side driving wasn’t easy for Gu Lang, especially since he’d had to obtain an international driver’s license translation certification. But now, after getting somewhat used to it, it was almost time for him to head back home.

As the off-road vehicle pulled closer to the edge of the farmland, before Gu Lang could fully stop the car, Wang Ping—already battered and bruised—emerged from beneath the seat, clawing his way onto the passenger seat. Behind him, another creature relentlessly pursued, leaping up from the floor with its jaws wide open, aiming straight for a certain honey badger’s tail.

Wang Ping twisted his body to dodge, pushing off the seat with his hind legs while reaching out with his claws to grab the lock on the passenger-side door. The momentum of stopping caused the left door to swing outward violently. In its eagerness to pounce, “Senior” miscalculated and tumbled outside, rolling across the ground.

At this moment, Wang Ping truly demonstrated remarkable control over his body. His usually clumsy paws moved like human hands, gripping tightly onto the inner handle of the passenger door. His hind legs dangled in midair, swaying back and forth as the door shook.

Through the rearview mirror, Wang Ping spotted “Senior” rolling multiple times down the embankment below the road. Shaking its head, it let out a sharp cry before charging back toward the vehicle. Not wasting a second, Wang Ping pushed off the door with his hind legs, using the rebound force to swing himself toward the doorframe. Hooking his claws onto the waterproof rubber strip inside the frame, he managed to pull the door shut.

BANG!

With the door securely closed, Wang Ping lost his grip on the lock and collapsed backward onto the passenger seat.

Phew…

His paws trembled slightly, possibly cramped from exertion. Slowly raising a shaky paw to wipe away tears, Wang Ping lay there belly-up, his mind blank.

In just one morning, he’d been beaten twice by the same honey badger. Wang Pin didn’t want to talk; all he wanted was to hug himself in consolation.

“Ahh… you’re bleeding!”

Gu Lang’s sudden exclamation sent the chatroom buzzing with speculation. Everyone was dying to know what was happening inside the car. Who was bleeding? What kind of blood was it?

BANG!

A loud thud came from outside the car, making both Wang Ping, sprawled on the seat, and Gu Lang, about to reach over, flinch involuntarily.

Then, an ear-piercing scraping noise followed, accompanied by relentless scratching against the car door. It sent chills down the spines of everyone who heard it, including those watching the live stream.

But Wang Ping relaxed once more. The door was shut tight, and unless that thing was Rosette, no amount of clawing would break through.

“That guy’s too aggressive… good thing we’ve got the car door blocking him.” Gu Lang rubbed at the goosebumps on his arms, then suddenly remembered something else.

“Ahh… my freshly repainted car…”

Idiot! You knew that and still didn’t drive off sooner? Wang Ping shot Gu Lang a look that said, Are you stupid?

Without needing further prompting, Gu Lang quickly shifted gears and stepped on the gas, speeding away. Leaning back against the seat, Wang Ping tilted his head to glance at the rearview mirror. Sure enough, the “Senior” was still chasing them, though four legs were no match for a car engine. As the distance grew wider, the honey badger eventually slowed to a stop, letting out a few frustrated cries—perhaps cursing—and then darted into the nearby fields.

“Though the process wasn’t pleasant, I suppose indirectly helping that guy escape captivity counts as a good deed,” Wang Ping thought, trying to find some positivity in his ordeal. At least it gave him a reason to feel better about getting beaten up.

However, when Wang Ping snapped back to reality and overheard Gu Lang chatting away, the irritation he’d suppressed began to resurface.

Gu Lang wasn’t talking to Wang Ping but rather to the viewers in the live stream.

Now that the commotion had passed and Wang Ping was safely seated in the passenger seat, Gu Lang felt reassured and started spinning tales.

“Hehehe~ Sorry about that little incident earlier,” he said casually, glancing at the barrage of comments scrolling across the screen. Adopting a nonchalant tone, he continued, “You guys don’t know this, but before leaving Karatu this morning, I visited a private zoo where I saw a pitiful honey badger. Poor thing—starving, lonely, locked in a tiny room less than two square meters. So sad!”

He glanced at Wang Ping, who was staring back at him. Pausing briefly as if organizing his thoughts, Gu Lang went on, “I’m such a softie. And honestly, seeing that honey badger reminded me of our boss! We take care of our boss, but who takes care of him? So I bought him from the zoo owner and planned to release him into the wild.”

Listening to this shameless fabrication, Wang Ping gained a newfound appreciation for Gu Lang’s audacity. He’d thought Jacob was the king of brazenness, but clearly, there was always someone worse.

“Earlier, I kindly released that honey badger from his cage, thinking he’d appreciate the freedom. But instead, he attacked me! Luckily, our boss was there to teach him a lesson. When I stopped the car, it was to let him go free. Wild animals belong in nature, after all.”

Before waiting for the chatroom’s reaction, Gu Lang raised his eyebrows at Wang Ping, smirking smugly. The message was clear: See how nice I am? I didn’t mention you getting beat up—I even said YOU beat HIM.

Wang Ping facepalmed, unable to bear looking at Gu Lang’s ridiculous expression.

DING DONG!

“MuBai gifted the streamer: Rocket x1…”

“IllegalAccount gifted the streamer: Yacht x1…”

“IllegalAccount gifted the streamer: Yacht x2…”

“IllegalAccount: Streamer, you're amazing! Saved another animal!”

“WildSuperhero gifted the streamer: Plane x5…”

“WildSuperhero: Who’s your boss?”

Glancing at the screen, Gu Lang decided it wouldn’t hurt to introduce Wang Ping to the audience since they’d be heading home soon anyway. Smiling, he said, “Thanks for the gifts, everyone! Our boss is none other than the honey badger you met before—the one traveling with me on the grasslands. Let me tell you, his backstory is tragic. He was abused in a circus as a child… blah blah blah…”

By now, Wang Ping had developed a tolerance for Gu Lang’s outrageous storytelling and blatant lies. He rolled his eyes as Gu Lang rambled on about “our boss” and fabricated an absurd origin story for him.

Wiping away a tear, Wang Ping silently massaged his sore paws.

“Heh, keep driving for now. I’ll deal with you later. Once you stop the car, we’ll settle old scores and new ones. If I don’t make you cry, I’ll write my name backwards!”

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