Otaku Translation: Honey Badger's Streaming Life C51

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The sun shone once more upon the earth, and with it came a rise in temperature. The plains, freshly drenched by rain, exhaled their moisture into the air, mingling the scent of damp soil with a faintly pungent odor. Those who often claimed that the air after rain was fresh likely had no idea what ozone truly smelled like.

From the gently sloping hollow to the east, the entire forest seemed veiled in an ethereal mist under the post-rain sunlight.

The poachers had been captured all at once, but where was Gu Lang?

At this moment, Scarface, the remaining white man, and Adit were crouched in a row beside the helicopter’s landing gear. Their hands were cuffed behind their backs, twisted awkwardly—one wrist pulled around from the side of the neck, the other from beneath the ribs. It was as uncomfortable as it looked.

Colonel explained that this position was the hardest to escape from. Even if they tried to run, they wouldn’t get far before tumbling to the ground, unable to even crawl back up.

Adit sat slumped against the landing gear, his face bruised and streaked with tears, sniffling incessantly. Scarface and the white man had regained consciousness, but their eyes were swollen shut, and their mouths puffed up like sausages, leaving them unable to speak clearly—or close their lips at all. They could only drool dumbly while half-squatting there. Their legs were too swollen to bend fully, and the handcuffs chained to the landing gear were too short for them to stand upright. After just a few moments, they groaned in exhaustion. As their skin continued to swell, the cuffs cut deep into their wrists, drawing blood.

Scarface, relatively speaking, wasn’t in the worst condition. The real tragedy belonged to the other white man who had fled the forest with him. His body had swelled so rapidly that the rifle slung across his back hadn’t been removed in time, tightening around his torso until it nearly strangled him. By the time Sajala and Davis caught them, his face had turned purple, and he was on the verge of suffocation. Even now, his brain remained oxygen-deprived.

Zhang Jianming tactfully avoided mentioning anything about “human rights.” From Adit’s confession, they learned that two more poachers were hiding somewhere in the forest. Apparently, these men had mistaken Gu Lang for someone tailing them and entered the woods intending to kill him.

Gu Lang’s livestream had gone dark, his fate unknown. Not daring to waste another second, one soldier and the pilot stayed behind to guard the three captives while everyone else—including Zhang Jianming—advanced quickly toward the forest in tactical formation.

After inspecting the weapons confiscated from the two poachers, Zhang Jianming borrowed a pistol from Colonel without hesitation. At this point, notions of identity or regulations be damned! If they delayed even a moment longer and something happened to Gu Lang, he’d never forgive himself. Though the young man could be troublesome, his sense of justice was undeniable. Dying here in a foreign land would be an unbearable loss.

But Zhang Jianming could never have imagined what Gu Lang was doing right then.

In a clearing near a small lake west of the camp, southeast of their location, a honey badger, a leopard, and a human sat facing each other in what appeared to be a meeting. Wang Ping wore an expression of mild bewilderment, while Rosette rested her head on her crossed forepaws, looking sleepy.

Wang Ping didn’t fear being seen; Gu Lang had already checked the tablet in front of him earlier, only to find it dead—automatically powered off at some unknown time. The battery had held out admirably despite hours of live streaming and months sitting unused in the car. Besides, there were four spare batteries in the vehicle, so Gu Lang wasn’t worried at all.

But others were worrying plenty.

Back in China, dinner hour approached. In the bustling office hall of Lin’an District Public Security Bureau in Hangzhou, officers either ate or headed home. But Grandma Gu’s family sat glued to the black screen of the livestream, their appetites utterly gone. If she knew her beloved grandson was currently holding a meeting with animals, she’d surely tan his hide.

Yes, the trio was having a meeting.

This bizarre situation arose from a single statement made by Gu Lang: “You should come with me. Staying out here in the wild is dangerous for both of you.”

Gu Lang’s invitation left Wang Ping utterly stunned.

Dangerous? How exactly?

And since when did you become so direct? We were still debating how to latch onto you, and suddenly you’re extending an invitation? Isn’t this relationship moving a bit too fast?

Truthfully, Wang Ping had already decided to leave with Gu Lang.

Deep down, he was human, and living idyllically alongside Rosette in the wilderness simply wasn’t feasible. While he might claim it was because he missed his career and family, such reasoning felt somewhat disingenuous. More honestly, he couldn’t bear life without the internet, television, or delicious food. Ideally, he’d also return to China to visit his younger sister, Wang An.

Yes, Wang Ping’s biological sister, whose name was Wang An. Together, their names formed the phrase “peace and safety,” a beautiful meaning indeed—but one Wang An despised. To her, Wang Ping sounded far more feminine than her own name. This comparison irked Wang Ping, who previously hadn’t minded his name much. As children, the siblings often fought over their names.

Now, however, Wang Ping longed to see his sister again—even if this diminutive body of his wasn’t suitable for appearing before her, and even if she could probably beat him up easily. Just catching a glimpse of her from afar would suffice.

And among those present, there seemed to be only one person capable of making that happen.

But Gu Lang’s next words revealed his true intentions—and sparked an overwhelming urge in Wang Ping to kick him squarely in the face.

“I’ll help arrange for the best zoo to take care of you.” Gu Lang tried to soften his tone, but to Wang Ping, the suggestion reeked of stupidity.

A zoo? Do you even know where I came from? People release animals into the wild, sure, but convincing them to return to captivity? Not calling me ‘boss’ now, ey?—You’ve really gotten full of yourself!

“Especially you!” Gu Lang pointed at Wang Ping, adopting a stern expression. “You’re very clever—I can tell your trainer must have been a genius! But after observing you these past few days, I’ve noticed you don’t seem to hunt at all.”

He fixed Wang Ping with a knowing gaze.

“Bullshit!” Wang Ping bristled instantly.

“Oh, don’t deny it,” Gu Lang continued smugly. “Look, during this time, Leopard… Brother has managed to hunt on his own. But you rarely do. The one time you caught a fish, you insisted on taking it home to eat. Tell me, why does a honey badger like you bring prey back instead of eating it immediately? With habits like that, how will you survive in the wild?”

Wang Ping glared at Gu Lang’s accusing finger, his expression darkening.

Damn you, how dare you bring up the fish? If you hadn’t interfered, I would’ve devoured every last bone!

“But life in the zoo is different!” Gu Lang paused dramatically, conjuring an expression of wistful longing, as though describing paradise itself. Oblivious to how eerily similar he sounded to a creepy uncle luring children to see goldfish, he pressed on:

“You probably don’t know what a zoo is, right? Let me tell you! There are many animals like you there, except they’re protected by humans. They live in individual enclosures, receive food daily, and don’t need to struggle to hunt or face danger. What do you think? I know you understand! If you agree, just nod.”

Nod my ass!

Wang Ping gazed skyward, lost in melancholy thought, no longer wishing to engage with this fool.

In the distance, shouts calling Gu Lang’s name echoed through the trees. The rescue team was drawing closer. If Gu Lang kept rambling, Wang Ping and Rosette risked exposure.

Forget it, this guy’s brain is beyond saving. There’s no way we can leave with him normally. Who knows—he might demand we go straight to the zoo! And with everyone watching, I wouldn’t even have time to escape. Besides, I can try to negotiate, but Rosette absolutely cannot be taken away!

Wang Ping glanced at Gu Lang, his expression unreadable.

Something about the badger’s gaze unsettled Gu Lang, but before he could react, Wang Ping leapt onto Rosette’s back and gave her neck a firm pat.

Instantly alert, Rosette sprang to her feet and bolted northward into the forest, disappearing within seconds.

“Hey! Where are you going now? These people aren’t enemies! Don’t do anything reckless!” Gu Lang shouted, jumping to his feet in alarm. He broke into a cold sweat, fearing they’d repeat their earlier antics.

These weren’t ordinary poachers—they were police arriving by helicopter. A confrontation between them and the animals would result in scenes too gruesome to imagine.

Regaining composure, Gu Lang turned and sprinted toward the source of the shouting, responding loudly as he ran.

If he reunited with the rescuers, perhaps the badger wouldn’t act rashly anymore…

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