Otaku Translation: Absolute Number One C50

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Chapter 50: Worthy of a Cannon Blast

“I think the best part of was . The doctor isn’t really a doctor—just a medical student who failed their exams. The nurse isn’t actually a nurse but a PR specialist who cosplays as one. The anesthesiologist? Just an editor who oversaw a medical manga. The hijacker is just a poor office worker desperate for vacation, and the flight attendant… well, she’s secretly plotting to hijack the plane.”

Futazeno Seiko scribbled furiously in her notebook while her two friends sipped on bubble tea beside her, half-listening.

“There’s something absurdly comedic about it,” she continued. “All these characters are anxious because they’re wearing masks of lies. It’s such a good concept. Let’s adapt this for our drama club’s cultural festival! We can tweak it… Hmm, maybe change the setting to a train instead, and…” Her voice trailed off as she became lost in thought.

Yamagami Aiko leaned over to whisper to Nishino Sagiri, “Isn’t that plagiarism?”

“Nah, it doesn’t count; we’re not using it commercially anyway.” Sagiri replied casually, entirely unbothered. She’d only joined the drama club because her friends were members and had little interest in its activities herself. Her attention wandered toward the snack shelves inside the convenience store, contemplating how to trick Aiko into buying her some treats. As she glanced around, her peripheral vision caught sight of two people arguing outside on the street.

She instinctively looked closer and gasped softly. “Is that… ?!”

“Where?” Aiko quickly peered under the table, confused. “How would there be a weasel in here?”

Sagiri smacked her friend upside the head. “You idiot! Not a literal weasel—I mean that guy, the screenwriter, right outside the window!”

Both Aiko and Seiko turned toward the window and immediately recognized him—the screenwriter of the popular series they’d been following. He was embroiled in a heated exchange with a striking woman, tugging at his arm as she pleaded desperately. Though they’d only seen him once before, his show had left a lasting impression.

Sagiri hastily pulled them back. “Stop staring so obviously! What if he notices us?”

Realizing their mistake, Aiko and Seiko quickly turned away, pretending to sip their drinks while covertly observing through the corner of their eyes. Meanwhile, Sagiri subtly angled a small compact mirror to get a better view without being noticed.

“So… what do you think is going on?” whispered Aiko.

“It’s definitely not good. Look at her—she’s crying her eyes out!” Sagiri observed.

“Dumped?” suggested Aiko.

“Worse than dumped,” Sagiri interjected. “It looks like he seduced her and then abandoned her cold-heartedly.” The two huddled closer, whispering conspiratorially. “Did you see his expression? Zero empathy. Classic sleaze move—he used her and now refuses to take responsibility.”

“So he’s not just a pervert but also a total scumbag?” Aiko frowned. “Good thing he never came to our restaurant again, or Neiko-nee might’ve been in trouble!”

“Look, he’s heading this way, and she’s still chasing after him.”

“He completely ignored her. How ruthless! And yet she keeps running after him. Where’s her pride?”

“Oh no, she’s showing him something inside her shirt—is she trying to win him back with… ugh, gross! Now he’s yelling at her. Wait, isn’t that the actress from that other drama? Why does she keep chasing someone like him? Pathetic.”

“Maybe she’s pregnant, and he doesn’t want to own up to it?”

“That makes sense…”

The pair exchanged glances before turning accusingly to Seiko, who remained silent. Their expressions radiated disapproval—how could you defend this guy? He’s public enemy number one for women.

He deserves to be shot by a cannon!

Seiko sighed deeply, averting her gaze from the scene outside. Instead, she stared blankly at her bubble tea, disappointment settling heavily in her chest. Such talent, wasted on such despicable behavior.

“The woman stopped moving… maybe she gave up? Oh wait—he’s coming inside?” Sagiri quickly tucked away her mirror and hissed instructions. “Lower your heads! Pretend you didn’t see anything. Don’t engage with trash like him!”

The trio obediently ducked their heads, focusing intently on their drinks. But Aiko, hearing footsteps approaching, whispered nervously in their signature high school girl lingo, “What do we do? He’s coming straight for us!”

“Keep your heads down. Don’t speak. He’s not here for us—we barely know him,” Sagiri reassured them. No sooner had she finished speaking than greeted them cheerfully.

“What a coincidence—you’re here too?”

At the sound of his voice, Seiko reflexively began to rise, intending to greet him politely. But before she could fully stand, Aiko pinched her thigh hard—stay firm! Don’t encourage this creep!

Seiko stifled a yelp and sank back into her seat, feigning indifference. Sagiri, however, flashed a bright smile and responded sweetly, “Oh, Chihara-sensei! Are you shopping today?”

Please leave, don’t talk to us. We’re innocent all-girls school students; associating with you will ruin our reputations!

Chihara surveyed their stiff postures and awkward atmosphere, sighing quietly. “Did you happen to see what happened outside?”

Sagiri widened her eyes dramatically, delivering an Oscar-worthy performance. “What do you mean, Chihara-sensei? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I meant the argument on the street. Someone’s mirror nearly blinded me earlier.”

The girls froze. Had they been caught spying? Aiko promptly smacked Sagiri upside the head—idiot! You couldn’t just peek discreetly? Did you have to use a mirror and draw attention to yourself?

Sagiri clutched her head, biting her tongue. She hadn’t intended to expose them—it must have been a brief reflection of the store lights when adjusting the angle—but alas, even a fleeting moment was enough to give them away.

Seizing the opportunity, Chihara took a seat nearby (though spaced apart due to the scattered seating arrangement). He explained calmly, “That person outside was an acquaintance from my past. Her acting career hit a rough patch, and she wants me to write a script tailored specifically for her. She won’t take no for an answer, despite all my excuses. Please don’t misunderstand.”

Seiko exhaled in relief. So that’s what happened. She opened her mouth to assure him she harbored no ill will, but words failed her. Shy by nature, especially around strangers, she found herself tongue-tied. Besides, Chihara had already climbed onto her list of prospective idols—his screenwriting prowess filled her with admiration. Facing him now felt surreal, almost intimidating. In the end, she said nothing, maintaining her aloof demeanor behind a poker face.

Aiko, however, remained skeptical. Narrowing her eyes, she asked suspiciously, “Does it matter whether we misunderstand or not? Why go out of your way to explain it to us?”

“It seemed important to clarify, given the potential impact on reputation,” Chihara replied, unsure why he felt compelled to justify himself to these girls. Still, he sensed the need to clear the air, lest rumors reach certain ears and cause discomfort later.

Pausing briefly, he switched gears, attempting casual conversation. “Enough about that unpleasantness. How’s the shop doing lately? Busy as usual?”

Aiko blinked, perplexed. Are we close enough to chat casually? We’ve only met once before!

“Same old routine,” she muttered uncertainly.

“That’s nice. By the way,” Chihara ventured cautiously, “last time I visited your café, there was a waitress wearing a blue uniform and a white hairnet, with long hair tied back. There was also a mole on her right earlobe. Was that your sister?”

Aiko sucked in a sharp breath. A mole on Neiko-nee’s ear? This lecherous weasel sure pays close attention! Clearly, he’s got ulterior motives. No wonder he struck up a conversation—to fish for information about Neiko-nee!

Her guard instantly rose. “Yes, that’s my sister. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… you two look alike,” Chihara hesitated before asking bluntly, “Is she seeing anyone?”

Aiko and Sagiri exchanged knowing glances. Case closed. This weasel has set his sights on Neiko-nee, fresh off dumping his last girlfriend. His intentions reek of malice, plain as day.

Without hesitation, Aiko nodded emphatically. “Absolutely. Childhood sweetheart. They’re blissfully happy and getting married soon!”

For a moment, Chihara fell silent, a pang of heartache gripping him. Logic screamed that she wasn’t the woman he truly loved—it would be unfair to pursue her as a substitute. Yet emotionally, the thought of her belonging to someone else gnawed at him, leaving him deeply unsettled.

This possessiveness—a common male flaw—wasn’t lost on him. But as the ache subsided, a strange sense of liberation washed over him. Finally, he could let go completely. If she were single, perhaps he could try to move on and build a future together. But she was already engaged, happily so. To interfere now would be unforgivable.

From now on, he could focus solely on work, even late into the night, free from distracting thoughts.

These questions had lingered in his mind for ages, unanswered until now. With this clarity, he finally severed ties with the lingering emotions of another world, embracing reality fully. After a brief pause, he smiled wistfully. “Please convey my best wishes for her happiness.”

Aiko blinked, bewildered. That reaction didn’t match expectations. Shouldn’t he feel bitter? Besides, they don’t even know each other—why offer congratulations? This felt eerily reminiscent of an ex-boyfriend’s farewell.

Before she could press further, Chihara stood abruptly and excused himself, disappearing from view within moments.

Back to work, he thought, feeling invigorated. Ratings were climbing steadily, and preparations for the next phase awaited tonight.

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