Otaku Translation: My Girlfriend Is a Cello Player C84

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Chapter 84: Tell Me, What Should I Do? Part 1

"Lin Tian?" Gan Yanyu pressed one hand against the door crack, her eyes wide open.

Without wasting words, Lin Tian firmly grasped the door handle, ready to pull it open. A flicker of panic crossed Gan Yanyu's face as she hastily held the handle from inside. But how could this malnourished little body stand up to Lin Tian? With ease, he pulled the door open. In the process, the girl stumbled and fell out.

"Ah." Steadily, she fell into Lin Tian's arms. The girl clung to his clothes and looked up. Before her stood Lin Tian, eyebrows deeply furrowed, his gaze tinged with a hint of helplessness. Gan Yanyu knew—running away now would be futile.

...

It had only been a week since Lin Tian last visited Gan Yanyu’s home. The house had already become such a mess. Empty beer cans were scattered everywhere, brands and flavors of all kinds.

Trying different flavors while staying awake, huh?

The trash was filled with fast food containers. Hadn’t Gan Yanyu promised Lin Tian that when he wasn’t home to cook lunch, she’d eat properly?

Is eating convenience store bento boxes and pig's trotter rice for 13 yuan considered eating well?

Lin Tian cleaned up all of Gan Yanyu’s trash. He packed up the food containers and threw them out the front door.

Gan Yanyu sat on the sofa, a cello beside her. She curled up, looking helpless and lost at everything before her, like a child who had done something wrong, waiting for the impending judgment.

"Tell me, how many hours did you sleep?" Lin Tian sat on the living room table, his tone serious.

Gan Yanyu extended two fingers.

"Two hours?"

"I haven't slept in two days."

"??" Lin Tian stared at her. "Have you gone crazy from drinking?"

He couldn't hold back anymore, pointing a finger at the girl, wanting to say something harsh. But seeing Gan Yanyu’s innocent expression, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

In fact, he also bore some responsibility. If he had been more attentive, less dull, and noticed the girl’s problems earlier, how could things have gotten to this point?

But he just couldn’t understand. Did it really have to be pushed this far? It’s just a lousy concert, not even a competition. Even if the performance isn’t perfect, they can make up for it in the next event, right? Moreover, Lin Tian truly believed Gan Yanyu was already playing exceptionally well. Why was she still torturing herself like this?

...

"I know, I was never suited for this stage." Gan Yanyu hugged her knees, bowed her head, and slowly spoke. "So, I must work much harder than others. On stage, I get nervous, I breathe heavily. That’s because I am affected by various factors—the audience’s gazes, the judges’ stares. All these continuously enter my mind, making it hard to complete my performance."

"But one day, I discovered... as long as I practice the sheet music a thousand times, ten thousand times... until I no longer need to go over the sheet music in my head, until the moment I pick up the bow, my hands know how to complete the piece..."

"This way, when I stand on stage, I can completely empty my mind. Think of nothing. Just play the piece like during practice, then walk off stage."

"Lin Tian, didn’t you ask me before why I never had these troubles when I was in England?" Gan Yanyu slowly raised her head from her knees, her messy bangs covering her cheeks. A bitter smile played on her lips. "This is the answer. I’ve already practiced most of the classical pieces we might perform so many times."

Lin Tian was speechless.

Everything... At that moment, everything seemed to make sense to the young man. Why, despite being so tired and mentally disoriented these past few days, Gan Yanyu could instantly perk up like someone injected with adrenaline the moment she picked up the bow and flawlessly played with him. Why, simply attending a random concert or hearing a random piece, just following the rhythm, her hands would automatically play the entire piece like they were scripted. Why, the first time he heard Gan Yanyu play at home, though he thought it was impressive, she modestly said, "The pieces I play lack emotion, like a robot..."

All because Gan Yanyu had turned most of the well-known classical pieces into muscle memory—even at the cost of torturing her own body. This absolutely, positively, was the dumbest, most foolish idea anyone could come up with. And now, this method served as the lifeline for the world’s biggest fool: Gan Yanyu. She carried this skill all the way to now, preparing to use it for the upcoming concert with Lin Tian.

"Can you still call this 'a love for classical music'?" Lin Tian asked. "Turning your hands into machines that automatically play music, and then talk about your dreams of classical music? Isn’t that laughable?"

"Yes." Gan Yanyu didn’t flinch. "What I’m doing is a desecration of these pieces. I don’t deserve to talk about ‘love’ for them."

The girl covered her face. Suddenly, she started sobbing.

"Lin Tian, the pieces you wrote are truly wonderful. I resolved not to do this again. I wanted to treat your works with care and play them beautifully together with you. But last week’s performance at the music academy... made me realize it was all a joke." Her voice cracked. "Rather than performing music beautifully, I just want to smoothly get through this stage performance with you."

This was the reason Gan Yanyu had always hidden everything from Lin Tian. She was afraid he would find out what she was doing—that it would worry him, that she was sullying his compositions. In her own eyes, this was a grave disrespect to the works. But now, more than the music itself, Gan Yanyu didn’t want to disappoint Lin Tian. She wanted to enjoy the stage with him.

"You’ve had too much to drink," Lin Tian said, standing up. "No matter what, there are many ways—you can’t keep harming yourself like this."

"I don’t want to either!" Gan Yanyu’s tears burst forth again. She wiped at them with her hands and shouted, "But if I don’t do this, I can’t finish the performance on stage! I don’t want to suffer either..."

"Lin Tian, you keep saying we have other options, we’ll figure it out. But Lin Tian, don’t you think you’re too calm?"

Tears streamed down her beautiful cheeks. Her hands desperately tried to wipe them away but couldn’t keep up, leaving her face wet.

"But Lin Tian," she said, voice shaking, "rational words can’t help me now."

"Tell me. If I don’t do this, what should I do?"

"What else can I do?"

Lin Tian fell silent. At this moment, he couldn’t utter a word.

Lin Tian slowly stood up, walked over to the sofa, and sat down next to Gan Yanyu. Finding support at last, the girl gradually relaxed and lay down on Lin Tian’s lap. Already utterly exhausted, her eyelids began to droop.

"Enough talking, sleep now," Lin Tian said.

"What should I do, Lin Tian?" Gan Yanyu whimpered softly. "Sorry, Lin Tian. I’ve caused trouble for you again."

In Lin Tian’s arms, her voice became softer and softer.

"It’s okay, sleep now," he gently stroked the girl’s hair, whispering, "Sleep."

...

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