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Chapter 9: Big Brother Buzz-Cut
If someone were to ask Gu Lang at this moment what was more terrifying than facing a leopard, he would certainly say, “Facing away from a leopard!”
The off-road vehicle was back on the road.
Gu Lang never imagined that this strange "badger-leopard duo" would end up hitching a ride. After finally understanding Wang Ping's intentions, Gu Lang felt his sanity had fallen apart.
It was good that his life hadn't been claimed by the leopard’s jaws, but what was this situation? These two animals were stubbornly staying in the car without leaving!
Aside from the shattered windshield, the off-road vehicle had miraculously suffered no major damage. After retrieving the flying radiator cap, checking the wires, and making a quick fix, Gu Lang reluctantly sat back in the driver’s seat. From the current distance, he could even feel the hot breath and the strong smell of blood coming from behind him, where Rosette was.
Well, actually, it was just because Rosette hadn’t brushed her teeth, so her breath was a bit strong.
After glancing furtively at the camera that had been reattached to the rearview mirror, Gu Lang felt a little relieved. At least the livestream could continue, and as long as he survived this ordeal, he might just go viral.
What Gu Lang didn’t know was that he had already gone viral.
Not to mention online, Gu Lang’s name had already been flagged at the Chinese Embassy in Tanzania. Rescue teams and police stations in cities around the Maasai Mara had all received search and rescue requests from the embassy. Many cities had already begun searching the grassland areas surrounding the vicinity.
At that moment, when Gu Lang, bruised and battered, appeared back in his livestream, viewers were shocked, and Douyu’s staff was stunned. Even the embassy personnel who received the news were surprised.
This young man was tough!
Unfortunately, Gu Lang had no idea how many people were watching him at that moment, nor did he know how many viewers were tuned into the livestream. After the crash, the tablet that was mounted on the dashboard fell to the floor, the screen shattered, and it was unreadable.
The spread of events on the internet was fast. More and more viewers flocked to Gu Lang’s livestream, and the viewer count skyrocketed from 50,000 to 200,000, with no sign of slowing down.
While the earliest viewers knew the whole story and had been concerned for his safety, the newcomers were just amazed by the dramatic opening. The host was driving across the vast African grasslands with a leopard and a honey badger in the car—talk about cool!
Before driving, Gu Lang had briefly attended to his injuries.
He had several small cuts on his body that looked worse than they were, but they weren’t life-threatening, and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with each one individually. Of course, he was also concerned about Wang Ping, not wanting to keep the big brother waiting. He took out the first aid kit from the car, applied some anti-inflammatory ointment to the wound on his forehead, and covered it with a bandage. That was the extent of it.
With this, Gu Lang’s image as an iron-willed tough guy emerged. Especially with Rosette as the backdrop, it looked almost cinematic. The chat exploded with comments like “awesome” from viewers impressed by his stoic demeanor.
If the tablet hadn’t broken, Gu Lang would have seen the barrage of comments and probably been infuriated. Here he was risking his life to livestream, and people were only interested in the drama—ranking him and his hitchhikers!
Yes, at that very moment, viewers were ranking the car's passengers.
The newer viewers, unaware of the details, began arguing with those who had been watching from the start. After some heated discussion, a consensus began to form in the chat.
First and foremost, Wang Ping’s position was indisputable.
With his species-specific title, the "Buzz-Cut Bro," the viewers quickly dubbed Wang Ping "Big Brother Buzz-Cut."
Of course, this was more playful than serious. Most viewers’ understanding of honey badgers came from online memes and stories. The only authoritative recognition came from the Guinness World Records, which recognized the species as “the most fearless animal.”
Naturally, Wang Ping was “elevated” to the position of big brother.
As for Gu Lang and Rosette, it didn’t take a genius to figure out who was in a higher position.
Thus, “Third Brother Gu” became the nickname for Gu Lang, settled within less than half an hour, all while the man himself remained oblivious.
Gu Lang, fully focused on driving, dared not increase the speed after the previous crash. Without the windshield, the wind whipped through the vehicle, making it difficult for Gu Lang to keep his eyes open.
Rosette lay on the backseat, taking a nap. After hours of running, her stamina was depleted. She had kicked Gu Lang’s backpack under the seat, and Gu Lang could only helplessly watch through the rearview mirror. He didn’t have the energy to be upset.
Wang Ping, sitting in the passenger seat, squinted at the car’s navigation. Though Gu Lang wasn’t using a professional map app, the coordinates were accurate enough. Wang Ping roughly estimated the location and distance to their destination, his expression darkening.
The good news was, from the map, it was clear that they were still inside Tanzania, right in the region covered by their previous wildlife protection mission.
The bad news? They were way off course—and, even worse, a deep gorge known as the Great Rift Valley lay directly in their path.
Wang Ping, irritated, knocked on the dashboard, then turned his gaze to his newly recruited “minion.”
“What’s wrong?” Gu Lang felt dry-mouthed but didn’t dare stop to grab water from his bag. He could only endure it. Seeing Wang Ping suddenly knock the dashboard, he instinctively asked.
As soon as he asked, Gu Lang regretted it. Wang Ping couldn’t understand him. What was he doing? Why acting submissive to an animal?
The chat instantly exploded with comments.
“Ha-ha, the streamer’s submissive nature is showing!”
“Buzz-Cut Bro showing his dominance!”
“The streamer looks so nervous!”
“His master isn’t happy, better serve Master Buzz-Cut quickly!”
The comments were full of laughter, and gifts began flooding in from wealthy viewers.
Previously, the most expensive gift Gu Lang had received was a membership card from Douyu. But now, with this huge outpouring of support, he couldn’t even see it due to the shattered tablet.
Wang Ping ignored Gu Lang’s awkward expression. After all, he was a new recruit—he would eventually get used to it. Climbing onto the dashboard in front of him, Wang Ping glanced at the direction, raised a paw to point northwest, then turned back to look at Gu Lang.
Gu Lang: “…”
A herd of alpacas ran through his mind at that moment.
Gu Lang had originally thought that he would head toward the nearest town, where at least there would be people, and end the livestream and return home. After all, his life mattered more than the livestream. So, he set the GPS to a place called Buyiko (TLN: Fictional location afaik).
But Wang Ping didn’t pay attention to Gu Lang’s actions. After studying the coordinates for a while, he decisively pointed in a completely different direction from Buyiko.
One was southwest, the other northwest.
Quietly watching the conflicted expression on Gu Lang’s face, Wang Ping’s claw tapped rhythmically on the dashboard, making a steady "tap-tap" sound.
"Here it comes again! Here it comes again!" Gu Lang groaned inwardly.
It was always like this. Every time Wang Ping grew impatient, he’d look at Gu Lang with that gaze and then start tapping his sharp claws repeatedly. Each tap seemed to echo in Gu Lang's heart, like a drumbeat of anxiety.
“That direction…” Gu Lang swallowed nervously, trying to stall a bit longer. “The road that way isn’t easy to drive on. Let’s keep going forward a bit more. Once we hit the main road, we can turn then, alright?”
Gu Lang gestured as he spoke, but it was all in vain. Wang Ping didn’t blink; he just kept staring at Gu Lang, claws tapping with that unyielding rhythm.
“Does he think I’m an idiot?” Wang Ping thought to himself with disdain, and then pressed his claws down just a bit harder, letting them sink a good centimeter into the dashboard with a sharp “scritch.”
“…” Gu Lang took a deep breath. Without another word, he turned the steering wheel in the direction Wang Ping had pointed, not daring to say a single word.
Wang Ping smirked, turned around, jumped back to the passenger seat, and resumed his watch on the GPS.
This move stunned the viewers. The chat exploded again with “lol,” and gifts such as rockets and yachts poured in from wealthy viewers.
“No wonder they call honey badgers 'Buzz-Cut Bros.' They're just so dominant!”
“Look at the streamer’s expression—so full of grievance, ha-ha!”
“I never knew honey badgers were such intelligent creatures!”
"Gu Lang: I'm suffering inside, but I daren’t speak up!”
“The most dominant pet in history, ha-ha!”
"The signs of acting are so obvious, do they think everyone is stupid?"
"No, no, can't you see? The streamer is actually the pet, and the Buzz-Cut Bro is the master."
"If you take it seriously, you've already lost."
The live streaming room was lively, with all sorts of comments, but inside the off-road vehicle, everything had quieted down temporarily. Apart from Rosette occasionally shaking her body or stretching her paw, there was nothing left but the hum of the engine.
Both Gu Lang and Wang Ping were lost in their thoughts.
Gu Lang was, of course, mostly worried about his safety. Although these two seemed smarter than ordinary animals and could communicate in simple ways, they were still wild beasts. Who knew when they might attack him?
Wang Ping’s thoughts were more complicated.
Gu Lang was heading towards a temporary base for the WAP teams and local forest patrols. He wasn’t sure if his teammates were still there. If they reached the camp, should he meet with them? And what would he say? Who would believe that a honey badger was inhabited by a human soul?
Damn poachers!
“Bang!” Wang Ping slammed his paw on the car door, growing frustrated.
Gu Lang trembled in fear and glanced at Wang Ping from the corner of his eye.
What had he done to upset this guy now?
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