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I Refuse To Be The Villain
Chapter 1.2
He no longer had those painful memories, but he always remembered the twisted branches that occupied most of his view from the window.
He recognized that tree—it was an elm tree. His dad had planted a large elm tree in the yard at home, and from the window of his room, he could see a corner of the elm tree.
Looking at that tree felt like being back home.
He burned with fever for several days in a daze. Eventually, that family didn't want to bear the cost of taking care of him any longer, nor did they want him to die from illness in their home, so they sold him off.
The experiences of being sold during those years were something Lu Yu'an always tried to avoid recalling. Every time he thought about it, he would be overwhelmed by an endless darkness that suffocated him.
What kept him going through those days was his unwavering belief that his mom and dad were still looking for him.
And he would meet them again amidst all this darkness.
But as time passed, just surviving consumed all his energy, and his memories of home gradually faded. Except for a few profound memories, he couldn't remember his parents' names. Slowly, he stopped expecting, because without expectations, there would be no pain.
Later, Wang Ru saved him. Wang Ru then married Li Fangjia, and he became an adopted son of the Li family. They moved to the city together, and Wang Ru tried to protect him, but she herself was beaten and abused by Li Fangjia. What could she do to help him? He was still young at that time and had to protect Wang Ru from being killed by Li Fangjia.
Later, Wang Ru became pregnant and gave birth to Lele.
Those years were relatively better, except that he felt more and more redundant at home. Li Fangjia was willing to bring home his wages from the factory to support the family, especially for Lele, the only heir of the Li family.
He recognized that tree—it was an elm tree. His dad had planted a large elm tree in the yard at home, and from the window of his room, he could see a corner of the elm tree.
Looking at that tree felt like being back home.
He burned with fever for several days in a daze. Eventually, that family didn't want to bear the cost of taking care of him any longer, nor did they want him to die from illness in their home, so they sold him off.
The experiences of being sold during those years were something Lu Yu'an always tried to avoid recalling. Every time he thought about it, he would be overwhelmed by an endless darkness that suffocated him.
What kept him going through those days was his unwavering belief that his mom and dad were still looking for him.
And he would meet them again amidst all this darkness.
But as time passed, just surviving consumed all his energy, and his memories of home gradually faded. Except for a few profound memories, he couldn't remember his parents' names. Slowly, he stopped expecting, because without expectations, there would be no pain.
Later, Wang Ru saved him. Wang Ru then married Li Fangjia, and he became an adopted son of the Li family. They moved to the city together, and Wang Ru tried to protect him, but she herself was beaten and abused by Li Fangjia. What could she do to help him? He was still young at that time and had to protect Wang Ru from being killed by Li Fangjia.
Later, Wang Ru became pregnant and gave birth to Lele.
Those years were relatively better, except that he felt more and more redundant at home. Li Fangjia was willing to bring home his wages from the factory to support the family, especially for Lele, the only heir of the Li family.
Every day at dawn, Lu Yu'an would carry a stool, step on it, and start boiling hot water for the family. He would also cook meals for the whole family.
However, as Lele grew up, something was not right. It was evident that he was different from other children. Li Fangjia accompanied Wang Ru to take Lele to the hospital, and it was finally diagnosed that Lele had intellectual disabilities and needed long-term medication to prevent further deterioration.
The Li family's already tight financial situation worsened as a result, and Li Fangjia became even more aggressive. Every time he got drunk and went crazy, Wang Ru would throw herself on him and Lele to protect them. Wang Ru suffered injuries that never healed, until one time Lu Yu'an took a knife and swung it near Li Fangzhu's hand, he finally restrained himself.
However, what he didn't know was that after he disappeared for a year, his mother who dived in the water to save him fell ill and deteriorated rapidly. Following the advice of their close elders, his father adopted Lu Yuning, who was the same age as him, from an orphanage after calculating their fate using astrology.
Perhaps it was effective, as the condition of the mother improved significantly after Lu Yuning came home. Lu Yuning's presence also alleviated the mother's depression caused by losing him, and she finally had some laughter in her final days.
After the mother passed away, Lu Yuning stayed in the Lu family. His obedience and understanding greatly comforted the father and the older brother's wounded hearts.
Bit by bit, it erased any trace of Lu Yu'an's existence in the Lu family.
From then on, the Lu family no longer had Lu Yu'an, only Lu Yuning.
Later, when he returned to the Lu family, unlike the drunken master of the Li family who never sobered up, Lu Zhengqing fulfilled all his expectations of a father figure.
When Lu Zhengqing brought him back from the Li family, he was filled with admiration for his father, immersed in the joy of returning to his family, and had a period of happiness.
However, Lu Yu'an soon noticed that the father and sons of the Lu family were united and happy, and he could never fit in. Their harmonious interactions, which he could never be a part of, were incredibly glaring.
He knew he shouldn't harbor resentment. He should be grateful that Lu Yuning had accompanied his father and brother for so many years.
But he couldn't do it. Jealousy consumed his heart like a wildfire.
Lu Yuning's hands were fair and slender. He could play beautiful melodies on the grand piano that he had only dared to glimpse at from afar outside the shop window when he was a child. He also understood the meaning of those music scores that were like hieroglyphs to him.
His own hands, on the other hand, were full of scars, rough and calloused. He only knew how to use them to beat someone until they fell down, leaving no visible evidence.
Lu Yuning excelled academically in the best school in the city, while he attended a neighboring rubbish school where all the teachers shook their heads at him.
He felt like an ugly duckling, unable to possess even a heart without jealousy.
He was jealous of the gentle and stern manner in which his father instructed Lu Yuning, jealous of his brother's gentle smile when playing basketball with Lu Yuning, and jealous of the unspoken understanding between the three of them at the dinner table.
The three of them seemed to have an invisible barrier, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break through.
When faced with him, his father and brother only felt distant and awkward.
He did a lot of things, wanting his father to see him and acknowledge him.
But the more he did, the more jealous he became.
Inevitably, his conflict with Lu Yuning grew larger and larger, and everyone around them looked at him as if he were a monster trying to oppress the poor and kind-hearted adopted son with his bloodline.
In his father's eyes, there was only deep disappointment, but everything he did was just to make his father and brother notice him.
During the college entrance examination, his mind was filled with thoughts of Lu Yuning. Combined with his hand injury, he failed miserably and ended up attending an average college that was not very good. Both his father and brother were exceptional and never had any issues with their academics. He was simply an anomaly in the Lu family.
Compared to him, Lu Yuning, who had been admitted to the top fine arts academy in the country and was taken in as a disciple by a master, seemed more like a child of the Lu family.
Lu Yuning's perfection made him feel even more ugly.
Their personalities clashed, and the conflict intensified. In the end, Lu Yu'an had almost no way to live under the same roof as Lu Yuning.
But he knew that Lu Yuning would never leave.
So it could only be him who left.
Even when his father angrily scolded him not to ever come back if he left, it didn't stop him from leaving.
But if he continued to live with Lu Yuning, he truly didn't know what he would do. He didn't want to end up becoming that kind of despicable person, completely disappointing his father and brother.
Three years ago, he nervously stepped into the Lu family with his suitcase. Three years later, he left the Lu family in a sorry state with that same suitcase. The only thing he took from the Lu family in those three years was a half-finished painting by his mother.
On the day he left the Lu family, just as he had expected, there was no ripple in the vast Lu family. His father went to the board meeting as usual early in the morning, his brother took Lu Yuning for a medical examination. Even when he left the Lu family with his luggage, there wasn't even a single person in the empty hall.
He did indeed manage to never return to the Lu family. The paintings he learned from the neighbors became surprisingly popular online. He managed to support himself with some commissioned artwork, even after being diagnosed with cancer. He used the fund his mother left him to handle the treatment without any problems.
The Lu family treated him as if they had never had such a child. They never reached out to him.
He didn't tell them about his cancer diagnosis either. He originally wanted to tell them. When he was first diagnosed, he started to panic. His first instinct was to find his father and brother, but he couldn't reach them through the phone. He ran to the Lu family in the pouring rain, lingering at the front gate the whole afternoon. In the end, he encountered, the secretary Du who handles the Lu family's documents. In her sympathetic gaze, he learned that they had taken Lu Yuning on a family trip abroad and wouldn't be back anytime soon.
So he gave up.
But today, it was his father's birthday.
He vividly remembered when he was young, his mother was secretly preparing this painting with him, intending to surprise his father on his birthday. His mother also said that his father and brother had bad temperaments, and he should endure them with his mother and take care of them.
Unfortunately, his mother couldn't finish it.
It seemed that his father and brother didn't need his care either.
But he wanted to fulfill his mother's last wish.
He didn't have much time left.
The painting wasn't big. He carefully took the canvas down, framed it simply, and put it in his backpack. Inside the backpack, there were also his medical records. He had originally intended to take them out, but he hesitated at the moment of taking them out.
Even though he had accepted it calmly, he still hoped that his loved ones could be by his side.
He was also a little scared.
Before leaving the house, Lu Yu'an changed into a decent white suit, although he preferred casual sportswear.
But this way, he would look more like a member of the Lu family.
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